Not on my watch!

By Melanie Gibson

1 in 5 mums skip meals so that they can feed their children.

In Coleraine, Portstewart, Portrush, Garvagh and beyond folks are making difficult choices every day over something so simple as can we eat this tin of soup or keep it another day!

Thinking about this and it's reality in our towns just makes me feel sick, sad & angry, and I know it makes God feel this also.  But to be honest I didn't used to think like this or see it or feel it at all! I had a nice wee job, had not long come home from living in England and was kind of wondering why and had started coming along to CCV where I felt a wee bit awkward at times but loving it all the same.

Loved worship & in particular Hillsongs "Hosanna":

Heal my heart & make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen, show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours, everything I am for your Kingdoms cause as I walk from earth into eternity

One day I sang and prayed and actually found myself meaning it! So often I think we sing songs and are blinded to what we are actually declaring in worship and song but for me this day was different

I had been home probably about 8 or 9 months and had been wondering why I had come home. I had a great wee job, friends and church in Cumbria where I had met Jesus a couple of years prior to that, and although where I was when I came home I had a good job, good people & family around me.  Even with all this  and a desire to seek God more and more and be closer to Him and His word I found myself increasingly alone and with a real longing and loneliness inside.

I sought God in worship and in His word to conquer these feelings and asked Him for His purpose for my life to be revealed...

Break my heart for what breaks yours Father

Not long after this the Sunday Food Giveaway started which after 3 1/2years we partnered with our churches in the community and the Trussell Trust and the Causeway Foodbank launched in March this year.

What an adventure this has been for us as a community to bring hope and break the chains of poverty in our city.

When we pray "break my heart for what breaks yours," we have to be prepared to take a step an be moved with compassion to do something about the issue, injustice, cause or stirring of your heart for the lost that the Father is breaking your heart for, in whatever environment you find that in whether its church, work, the school gate, with friends and family etc.

As women we are uniquely placed, blessed anointed and ordained by our mighty Heavenly Father to change the world for His glory wherever we are.

When our hearts break for something that breaks Gods heart and we step out and say not on my watch in a simple act, we can push back the darkness and make a difference.  When we take a stand for God against sickness, injustice, poverty, etc. God equips and empowers us with all we need.

We (hopefully) have 80 ish years to make a difference in our worlds and change our community for the generations to come, and we have the power and God graced uniqueness as women to stand and say, sickness- not on my watch; a young generation with no hope - not on my watch; addiction crippling lives - not on my watch; loneliness and isolation whilst parenting alone -not on my watch; suicide - not on my watch etc. the list is endless and we are all stirred to something more than ourselves.

We can't all do everything but we can all do something!!

I'm sure as you can tell I'm a little bit passionate about all this, for me when I hear or see a single mum who just drinks tea all day and eats one small meal so that she can have enough food to make sure her daughter eats properly - i think, not on my watch; or a family who's business folds and the stress and anxiety of how and where they will provide the basic necessity of food for their family gets so much that they don't want to get up in the morning or face another day - not on my watch or the 17 year old who due to difficulties at home finds herself in a strange town with no money, no food & no one to turn too- not on my watch!

Father break our hearts, for what breaks yours, equip & empower us as mighty women of God, daughters and heirs to the King to stand up and boldly say - not on my watch!

What lies beneath...

By Donna Finney

As you read this you will quickly deduce that I am no literary scholar or poet laureate…but I hope you will see that I am simply a mum, sister, daughter, aunt, cousin, friend, work colleague.

You may wonder why I say this. It's not said in the hope of hearing your kind words or nods of agreement, but to ask you to stop and think, even for just a moment, about what lies beneath.

To think about what is really going on in your life away from the glare of the public, away from the office, away from the school gates, away from your coffee shop nattering!?

In the past I have often looked at people and sometimes admired them, maybe even criticised them...or worse, I judged them ...without knowing what was really going on in their lives.

There was a time in my life if the truth had got out in fact, my life was far from perfect! Whilst I had the appearance of someone who 'had it all', money in the bank, nice car, an executive job and a perfect home life...the reality was Donna was actually a lonely girl, insecure, suffering from depression and searching for a way out of an unhappy marriage. I had a one-sided relationship with God (on my terms only) so my life choices often revolved around me!!

Press the forward button on 10 years :  now a divorcee, mum to a beautiful daughter, successful career but still missing something. Still searching for that illusive two-way relationship with God...oh and a lovely husband!

I thought that was to be my story: the black sheep, the divorcee, single mum struggling to serve Jesus!

What I hadn't accounted for was meeting the love of my life in my late 30s, who would come into my workplace one day and almost literally sweep me off my feet! I hadn't accounted for the fact that he would love my daughter as his own and accept the 2 of us, baggage included.

So you might think the story ends there and we just live happily ever after...it would have been a cute story but I still hadn't accounted for the biggest change of all, God invading my life!

Having married the love of my life, my beautiful daughter at University, I was enjoying life. Then my hubby and I started to attend Causeway Coast Vineyard Church where I was re-introduced to Jesus! I had come into a safe physical environment but not only that, I realised I was in a safe holy place. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t have some blinding flash of light or epiphany, just a journey into discovering who I was as a daughter of a King. Talk about discovering what lay beneath!

I have been on this journey of ‘self discovery’ – not like a self-help book type of discovery – but rather one where I found myself being able to be me and knowing who I am in the eyes of God.! No mask, no pretence, just me and my heavenly Father.

Am I happy I hear you ask? I am so, so happy. Don’t get me wrong it’s not because bad things don’t enter my life, but rather I am happy because I have the joy of knowing Jesus personally so when something bad does enter my life, I can choose if it stays there. For me, having that intimacy with my Father in Heaven changes who I am and how I live my life. How generous a God we have who loves to hear from us and he creates a place where someone like me who has a past, can have a future.

So as I said at the beginning, I will win no awards for the literary content of my writing, but maybe it will help us to take a step back and consider what lies beneath a person’s façade, dare I say your own façade. Just be you, how God designed you…

Overcome

By Donna Dickson

John 16:33 NIV
'I have told you these things, so that in me you have PEACE. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have OVERCOME the world!'

When I was first asked to write a blog, besides wanting to scream "NO!," I felt as if God put the word "OVERCOME" foremost in my thoughts. So even with immediate thoughts of the usual self doubt, not being good enough, "Who would want to read what you write?," "You'll make a fool of yourself," (the enemy again!) I knew God (and Tori) had given me a challenge that I had to face up to and a chance to Overcome another hurdle (a metaphorical one of course lol!).

I have suffered from various forms of depression most of my adult life and during this time I flatlined, feeling nothing, neither intense joy or immense sorrow. It is like being the waking dead doing all that is required to survive with life passing me by on a daily basis. 

Now don't feel sorry for me, I did try to live overindulging in food, shopping, partying, etc... all hollow, unrewarding pastimes giving no emotional value or help. These activities did not fill the gaping void in my life, nor did they elevate the emptiness.

During this time I was overcome with fear of failure, "I'm not good enough or worthy", self loathing, and condemnation. There really was no light at the end of my tunnel. 

I'm not trying to gain sympathy nor am I complaining about my lot. I did know there was another way of life. I had followed that path briefly as a teenager, but had roamed thinking I would find more on the other side of the road.

This is where I want you to understand the real meaning of OVERCOME: to gain victory; to conquer/defeat the enemy; to get the better of in a struggle; to prevail over.

As Jesus told us in John 1:5 (NIV) 

'The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.'

God gradually drew me back to Him, and last year I gave my life to Him completely, utterly and forever! He has helped me and is helpng me OVERCOME the enemy on a daily basis. He has poured so much light into my dark life.  I only want to shine for Him, shout His name from the rooftops!

I am now OVERCOME on a daily basis with thankfulness, happiness and most importantly why He sent His Only Son for us,  LIFE and life to the full! The strangest sensation is feeling emotion: I cry at everything; I smile; I can stand up for myself; I want to live, but most of all I live to do His will. 

Accepting Jesus as My Saviour has transformed my life and if He can heal me and create such a transformation in me, an "insignificant, wee, middle-aged, overweight Northern Ireland woman," He can do it for everyone.

He can OVERCOME your problems, illnesses and create new lives. This is not what I ever imagined I'd be doing, but with Him I have OVERCOME and I will continue to do so for as long as He wants me to.

So to all you beautiful daughters of the King reading this may you all strive to OVERCOME your hurdles in life with Christ at your side.

If I can do it anyone can! 

Donna xx

So God, what do you REALLY think of me?

By Mandy Forgrave 

How many times have we said that we knew that God loved us but have never really felt that He did? We knew all the stuff in our heads but never really felt it in our hearts . We read all the affirming and encouraging things in the Bible about God pursuing us and singing over us and being the apple of His eye, and yet at times we felt like He had left us and that we certainly weren't the apple of His eye and this singing malarkey, yeah right!

How many times have we believed the lie of the enemy; how many times have we felt not worthy, not good enough, not able enough, not loved enough? You see, the truth of the matter is, we are worthy, we are good enough, we are able and we are certainly loved.

I used to believe all of those negative things about myself, I used to believe that God only loved me because  that was His job, that's what God does, " He loves people". I knew it in my head but I never felt it in my heart. I believed the lie of the enemy, I believed that I wasn't good enough.   I always felt like the one in the crowd that people were left with  or as we say "landed" with. I never felt like I was anyone's first choice. I felt I was always in the way. I always felt people felt obliged to invite me places and if I went, I always felt out of place and awkward, never feeling like I fit in, never feeling good enough.

Anyone  who knows me knows that I like to chat! I can't help it, it's automatic! I even believed the enemy's lie that this was my downfall: that I talked too much, that people were fed up listening to me, that people would start to avoid me, that no one wanted me in their company. Sure who would want me? I am nobody's choice. I am the one people are left with. 

I had the belief that God was indeed my Heavenly Father, but I believed He was beyond my reach... living away up there, somewhere in the sky, way above me... insignificant me. I had a "head" knowledge of God's love for me, but I had no "heart" knowledge of that love. 

I always believed what I read in the Bible . I am a very literal person. If it says it, then I believe it. On the down side of that, if I got something into my head, even a lie from the enemy, I would believe that too. Some of my friends would maybe have described me as gullible!! Believing the lies but ignoring the truth.

I always believed that God was the same yesterday today and tomorrow and that He never moved. He never changed.  He was always there, yet why did I never have that close personal connection that others seemed to have?  How come I couldn't feel His closeness to me? What was blocking that?

About a year and a half ago, I went to Dublin to be trained in a ministry called Sozo and also have a session myself.  Basically, during a session, God reveals any hindrances that are keeping us from having an intimate personal relationship with the Godhead, which is, Father God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit. God reveals the lies that we have believed about Him and also about ourselves and He reveals those people who we need to forgive. All these things prevent us from coming into the fullness of who we are in Christ and these things distort our view of God and even of ourselves. Its almost like God clearing away the clutter or pulling the plug and draining away the stagnant waters that have kept us from receiving the fullness of His love  and actually believing it. God replaces the lies with truth, His truth. When you hear it from God and you actually believe it, the difference it makes is totally unbelievable! Pardon the pun! Especially when we are talking about believing and not believing! But you get what I mean!!

I no longer believe that God is just my Heavenly Father who is away up there somewhere. I now know and firmly believe that God is my Daddy who is right beside me . I feel His love in my heart. I know He sings over me. I know that I am the apple of His eye. I know that He chose me, In fact, He singled me out. I was in His thoughts even before I was born. I know that He delights in me . I know that I am His pride and joy. I know that His face is always turned towards me. I know that I am His and He is mine and I know that my Daddy loves me, I can feel it, He tells me and He shows me .  

My heart knowledge has caught up with my head knowledge,that is what has made the difference. 

As I said earlier, I like to talk, I used to believe that it was a hindrance, but now I believe it is a gift. The gift of the Gab! I use this gift to tell others what God really thinks of them, not just what they believe or even the lie that they believe, but the truth, Gods truth.  I use this gift to speak into the lives of those who need to hear how precious they are, how amazing they are and how much God loves them  because that is the TRUTH.

Being A Mum in a Man's World

By Rose Lynas

Being a mum is considered one of life's greatest privileges, theoretically at least. Everyone is quick to congratulate, words tripping off the tongue. These thoughtless words are only the beginning; many more will follow.

I approached impending motherhood like I did much else - with careful planning and consequential calm. I had surmounted various challenges in life, a high achiever in diverse fields. I had learnt to hold my own, a determined female charting a path through male terrain. It was precisely this mindset that was to be my downfall.

Genesis warns us that family life will be difficult. Relationships have been fundamentally broken. God accurately described the impact of this brokenness.

Having robustly dismissed the false notion that I am cursed because I am female, I was ready to welcome our daughter into the world, excited that God had entrusted us with such a precious charge.

What I wasn't expecting was to bump into my brokenness with such force. Our daughter was weeks old when I discovered that I had been playing the game, the male game for so long. In my new world these rules simply did not apply. Dismissed from the game I was lost.

Frustration flourished in a potent mix of isolation and lack of productivity, fuelled by tiredness. This was the true pain of childbirth. Within the fog glimpses of a reality beyond reality led the way to my epiphany. Unquestioning, I had accepted the rules, competing rather than challenging the false premise upon which they had been created. I was always set to loose; it was only a matter of time.

I looked back at my life. My self- worth was bound up in my achievements, assessed by their contribution to, and ability to fit into, the system; that wheel that must keep turning for fear that our humanity be exposed. Within such a grid how was a mum to fit? The ends could be plotted easily; it was the means, our daily life that was the problem.


As a baby Jesus entered the world. His existence as a vulnerable, dependant infant spoke truth to power, and power trembled. His purpose - to expose the sham structures of the world by being something entirely other. In the words of His mother, "let it be unto me as You have said." This is the challenge to every mum, every person yearning for another way. It is difficult to see, let alone accept this as a valid alternative when you are within the power structures, when you fit, when your self-worth is continuously massaged, your thinking and questioning self lulled to sleep, deeper and deeper with each turn of the wheel.  

We are not meant to see such truth. We facilitate this deadly deception by active participation in, or passive assent to, prescribed values, priorities and practices, so sure of ourselves and our abilities. We have traded our most precious gift, time, at market value. 

 Change takes time. With baby steps I am growing into an understanding of my Sacred call, caring less about whether my contribution is valued or even noticed. I know that the imperceptible ripple effect of our days can change the world, one gasping for a sip of the wonder and trust that our daughter has in abundance. 

This is not about stay-at-home mums versus their working sisters. All struggle to be taken seriously unless they play by the rules, as real in the office as toddler groups. Who is willing, free or suitably daring to make their choices, to challenge the norm, to be a salvation carrier? In what do we find our self-worth, have we relinquished control? Freedom, it seems, is the last thing we really want. 

Jesus invites us to, "come and see," to put to death all that controls us, to embrace His freedom simply to be, having faith in the strength and wisdom of such vulnerability. 
I am not a mum in a man’s world, but a valued, free human being in God’s world, in which there is no glass ceiling.

What’s in your name?

By Jude Burrows

Names are important to me. My birth name is Judith but I have reclaimed it as Jude. My parents chose this name for me. I hated it when I was a child. I wanted to be a Julie or a Karen. But my parents gave us all biblical / Hebrew names. There’s a Stephen, a Rachel, a Beth, a Kirsty (Rebecca), an Andrew and a Michael as well as a ‘me’. What a godly bunch we must be…!

I too have chosen ‘godly’ (or at least meaningful) names for my kids. I have a Naomi (pleasant), a Sophie (wisdom), a Joshua (Jesus Saves) and a Holly (the evergreen a reminder of eternal life, and the berries a picture of the shedding of Jesus’ blood ). I chose these names for my kids as I wanted to speak something over them, some truth about who they were and would be, and about who their true Father is.

Some of these names fit better than others – my Sophie, for example, is a complete ‘head-the-ball’ (nutter) – and yet perhaps there is wisdom to be found in cutting loose and going a little crazy at times…? Time will tell! Naomi is definitely a pleasant child. Joshua may indeed grow up to be a strong rescuer – his daddy keeps on hoping so – but even if he doesn’t, his name is a constant reminder to me that God called me out of a controlling work situation into a place of freedom and fulfilment. And Holly’s name reminds me that God is Always present, and that His blood covers all things, provides for all things, equips us for all things.

And names are important to God – in the Bible he often chose the name for new babies – ‘Call him Jesus’ – not Joseph like propriety would have suggested. ‘Call him John’ – not  Zachariah like his birth father. And with Jacob (meaning Heel), God gave him the new name ‘Israel’, God-Wrestler, Father of a Nation. God gave them new names, drawing a line under all that had gone before, creating a fresh start, freeing them from their human legacy.

Our names are like a banner over us – a label. And some of us have names we hate or names that have little or no real meaning. 

Some names have negative meanings – at university I shared a house with an Italian girl called Mara, which means ‘bitterness’, and I always wondered how this would affect a person, carrying a name with negative connotations.

And yet I know that we don’t have to live under any negative label – you can choose a new name, even if it’s a secret one that only you know. 

Ask God what HE calls you, how HE sees you, the apple of his eye, His precious child, His perfect creation. Because in knowing our real name, we know our identity, we know the hopes and dreams that He as the perfect parent has poured into us.

If you are a parent, you know how you agonised over the ‘any names yet?’ question. You pored over those baby names books, marvelling at the endless possibilities, at the horrors of getting it wrong. And then you heard or read a name that seemed to have potential and you mulled it over and you weighed it up. You checked the initials wouldn’t spell anything dodgy, you shortened it to see how it would sound yelled by future friends across future playgrounds, you went through all the possible rhyming words to make sure they wouldn’t get called anything awful at school… And when you saw your baby for the first time you tried it out, perhaps secretly to check if it was a good fit. And then you told people, out loud. ‘This is no longer baby girl Burrows (insert your own family name here!). This is _________! She has a name, a title, a banner over her which says _________.’

And even if you didn’t do this, God has done this for each and every one of us. HE has carved our names into the palms of his hands. He knows WHO we are, WHAT we carry, and EVERYTHING that we can be because of what He has sown (sewn!- like a label in our school jumper!) into us.

When we were trying to think of a name for our business we came up with lots of options but none were a good fit. We wanted the initials to be redolent of Handbags and Gladrags (H&G), we wanted it to say everything about the purpose behind the shop in a few words (impossible!!!) and we had an idea that it should be two women’s names, kind of kitsch, kind of fun but oh-so-meaningful. And Hope & Gloria was a name bestowed upon us by God – it truly feels like a banner that says all that we can’t.

I have long known that my name was significant, not just because my parents wanted to give me a good legacy and bestow meaning and purpose on my life, but because God has called me, God knows me way better than I know myself. St Jude is the Patron Saint of hopeless and lost causes. I always thought this was kind of sad, but I now know it to be an amazing and wonderful thing. To be an ambassador for the lost! To seek out and find hidden treasure! To find new purpose and meaning for things that others see as nothing, as useless, as trash. What a calling! And how well the Father knows me, that he could call these things out in me way before I understood that names were more about Passion than Fashion.

What does your name mean? And do you need a fresh start? Because the God that gave Abram the new name, Abraham,  ‘Father of many Nations’, can also give you a new name if you need it or can restore the original design in the one bestowed on you at birth. His Banner over you is LOVE. x

Lord Send Someone Else

By Julie Busteed

About five or six years ago I remember having a conversation with my husband, Stephen about our gifts; Stephen is gifted in lots of ways, or so he thinks, no seriously he is and uses many of these for God.   I on the other hand felt I had no gifts, at all, let alone use one for God.   Awh I hear you say……..

How wrong was I…..

I have always been creative and enjoy crafting anything and everything, but to me this was not a gift this was just something I did.  Isn’t God so amazing that he took what I loved and opened a door for me to use it for his Glory?  

I remember so well having a very brave conversation with Tori, on the floor, in the kitchen at the old Dunnes Stores building (Tori is a little bit sophisticated now, she takes you for coffee to have these conversations).  Tori mentioned to me, in her most persuasive manner about leading a Life Group. Creations was born, there and then.  I still get goose bumps thinking about how God just came right down into the middle of that room and gave me the courage to say, “Yes I so want to do this”. 

I have always felt like I was a Moses, “send someone else Lord”!!

Exodus: 4  10But Moses pleaded with the LORD, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.”
11Then the LORD asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the LORD? 12Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.”
13But Moses again pleaded, “Lord, please! Send anyone else.”

That’s me!!!!!!!  I am sure some of you recognise yourself in that passage also.

I was happy to sit in the background and not be seen or heard and just quietly get on with life.

I have in the past spent my life living in the shadow of my husband, but no more.  God has an amazing plan for me, yes me.  He wants to have a relationship with me, yes, wee me.  Not Stephen and his wife or the mother of his children but me, Julie the person he created me to be.  He gave me the gift of “craftiness," to share with others and bring Glory to him, and I love Him so much for that, and I am so thankful for this gift and how much I have been able to use it in such a short time.

You too can use your God given gift….

Romans 12  The Message
12 ^1-2 So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

When I have had a stressful day or just need to settled my head there is nothing more relaxing for me to do than just sit at the table in my kitchen, looking out at the beautiful view from the window which God has blessed me with (that’s another story for another day) and make unique jewellery. Having created something beautiful that someone else might just love gives me so much pleasure.

“Creations”, is just like that, full of ladies who share the same interest or just want to come along to learn a new skill and get to know people.  We share our skills, stories, funny and Godly and just enjoy each other’s company.  God knows me so well to get me involved in this group of ladies.

You see that is just it, God does know me, and he knew all about what I had to give and created a place for me to do it.  He can and will create that place for you. 

So go on, step out of that boat, test the water.  Your gift is unique and God given, he will help and prepare you in every way for whatever he has for you to do.

He did it for me.

I was recently involved in a Vinyard Compassion event teaching ladies to make jewellery….nothing spectacular but they made beautiful angel key rings.   As I was sitting talking to one of these ladies assisting her whilst she made a key ring, she said to me, “you have been such a blessing to us, sharing all your skills and talents and I want to thank you”.  You could have knocked me over with a feather, I felt so overwhelmed by this that I could feel myself filling up with tears, because here I was all the time thinking how blessed I was using my gift that I never stopped to think these ladies saw me as a blessing to them. 

So if you are reading this thinking I have nothing to give, think again……….”God knows the plans he has for you”.

Psst..."Creations Arts and Crafts" group will begin again in the autumn...keep an eye on the CCV website for details. ;)