Learning to live in the unforced rhythms of His Gra

by Claire McAvoy

At the start of 2013, Janet Young spoke to me about starting a Pram Pushers group in Ballymoney, with the idea that mums who have young children could meet up once a week and do life together. Initially, I was hesitant, as I have a tendency to overcommit myself.

I think I need to share (briefly, I promise!) a little background.

On the 9^th November 2008, I finally woke up and realised I couldn’t do life on my own, and I accepted Jesus into my life. Prior to this, I was "Miss Independent," "Miss ‘I’ll do that", "I’ll help out there," "count me in" always juggling far too many things- a full-time, demanding job, a marriage (happy), being a mummy to 3 children (now 5!), studying for a degree, helping out at swim club, sitting on 2 Boards of Governors, and training for an Ironman, and the list went on.  All the rushing around, over committing, striving for acceptance and love and giving myself a hard time, wore me down. 

I was burnt out.

But thankfully, God and His megaphone broke through; or rather I acknowledged His voice for the first time. It was a real turning point in my life, however I had a very rocky, few months following this, where I needed to give Jesus an ‘access all areas’ pass and let Him do a Jesus makeover, like only He can.

I knew this wasn’t the version of me that I wanted to be, nor was it what God had planned for my life; rather I felt God say I needed to “learn the unforced rhythms of His Grace”.  I started to read the Bible and then other books, including one which has become a favourite of mine, by John Ortberg; “The me I want to be- Becoming God’s best version of you”, and I realised I was caught in the cycle as shown below (p38)

Eventually, I started to slow down, cut out non-essential activities, reduce my hours at work, and I realised that the only person that was putting pressure on me, was me.

Every so often, I feel the old independent Claire creeping back and I find myself wanting to pick up pace, but I am learning to tune in to God first and with His guidance and the love and support of my lovely husband, I am learning to keep this slower and more balanced, pace of life. I have felt God more often than once tell me to ‘slow down’, and assure me His Grace is sufficient for me.

Now when I feel worry, anxiety, pressure (from myself) to take on more, the need to ‘strive’, try harder, I remember words Tre Sheppard spoke in 2012;

 I have to make a decision daily to,“live in the light of the love of the King, not in fear of the thief”.

This has helped me so many times to slow down, calm down, stop worrying and enjoy God’s unforced rhythms of Grace. You see, I think all along, I was trying to earn God’s Grace, rather than realise that it was a free gift. I have to admit, I still find this amazing and need to keep reminding myself of it.

So, here I am, back to Pram Pushers. I prayed about it and felt God give me the green light to go so I said yes. So, since May 2013, our group of mummies and their babies and children, totalling on a good day 9 mummies, who collectively have 28 children between them (yes really!), meet every week to push prams (well, sometimes!), eat buns (lots of), drink coffee (strictly no de-caff I have been reminded!) and chat about labour experiences, baby feeds, hair extensions, school reports, holidays, husbands- well, anything and everything really. It is not a Bible study, but God is definitely present and definitely welcome as we do life together and I love it!!

I want to live in His light

I want to live in His Grace

I want to live out His plan

I want to live at His pace

Would you please, please, ask yourself;

Are you happy with your commitments? Have you overcommitted yourself?

Are you putting high expectations/too much pressure on yourself?

Are you burnt out, or heading that way? Or would you rather live out the best version of you, the one God has planned for you all along?

Invite Jesus in and learn, as I am, to live in the unforced rhythms of His Grace.

Matthew 11:28-30  (MSG)

28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Check out a beautiful song about Grace - “Grace flows down” by Christy Nockels

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YWiH90AYhU

Invincible

By Janice Hanna

For better, for worse…. For richer, for poorer… In sickness and in health…awwwh, it rolled off the tongue so easily as a carefree 23 year old, swept up in a whirlwind of love and romance.

When we first got married, without even realising it, I had pictured a very idealistic, happy-ever after life together.  It only took 6 months for this fairy-tale illusion to be shattered. In that short period of time my husband lost his job meaning that finances were stretched more than we were able to manage. Simultaneously his on-going health issues where deteriorating rapidly meaning that job prospects were few and far between, but also while this was happening close family relationships were also breaking down beyond reconciliation.

It really was no surprise when depression came knocking at our door and even though it was Steve with the diagnosis I was living on the other side of it. Many days I would return home from work and he would still be sitting in the same spot as when I had left that morning. Many miles were driven home from work with my eyes full of tears knowing that this was not how it was supposed to be; I should be excited about coming home to my new husband. 

To be completely honest there were times we reached breaking point, giving up on our marriage felt like the easiest option.

During that time I couldn’t walk into church, I felt angry at God; I was waiting for the happy ever after and for Steve to be healed but it wasn’t happening. Keeping on the happy bubbly exterior I was afraid to talk to anyone about it as I knew the façade would crumble. Where I once felt creative and colourful, now I felt burdened and black.

With time, colour gradually returned.  We re-connected friendships and enjoyed going to church once again. Steve sought out and accepted the help he needed for depression and used his experience to become a leader in ‘Celebrate Recovery’ helping others through their pain. 

It was after a miscarriage that we realised we were much stronger than we ever thought, and though we couldn’t see it at the time, God was preparing big plans for us. Plus we now have a beautiful 18 month old daughter, Eden who is a constant source of joy and laughter in this house (amidst the early onset of the terrible twos!!!)

Many times while trying to write this blog I have questioned why am I writing this, there are very few people I have talked to about it, never mind posting it online for all to see, but it’s in writing this that I have finally realised that I could only go forward once I had dealt with the past.

History threatened to repeat itself this year when Steve lost his job again. Fear and panic quickly returned and crippling worry was taking over my every thought. A lot of issues were coming up that I had never dealt with from before. This time it felt like it was me that was close to breaking point.

Thankfully we are part of a church family where we could get the exact help that we needed. From spiritual to financial, a weight was lifted and this time completely different choices were made. I finally began to talk to the right people and wonderful women were praying us through it all.

Learning to trust God’s promise in Psalm 55:22 that if we give away our cares to him he will take care of us seems such a simple verse but to live in the freedom of these words is transforming. For me it means I’m finally beginning to learn to not worry obsessively about the things I have no control over and although I may still worry about things, they no longer control me. 

I am finally beginning to grasp the reality of having a God I can trust in. As an almost 30 year old now being carefree is a choice I have to remember to make every day.

I know that just because we have come through these struggles that life won’t be easy, but our experiences together and with God have taught me more than I could have ever learned in a sermon or a book.  This has been my story and my song and God is teaching me to trust him more and more each day with my life, my marriage, my daughter, our finances and His plans for our future.

If you have the time I would love for you to listen to my anthem song! I love to turn it up loud and sing it out!! For me, I know that with God at my side and with my husband’s hand in mine…we are invincible.

During the struggle, they may pull us down, but tonight we can truly say, Together we’re invincible!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w8VtX1X9Ag

Nb: thanks to my hubby who has let me share his personal stuff too J

Mums The Word

by Steph Leckey

As a little girl I used to play with my toys and I had one very special toy that was my favourite, she was a doll called Tiny Tears.  I loved that doll but what I loved most was being her mummy.  When she cried I fed her or changed her nappy and wherever I went she came along too.  

Why am I telling you this? Well hopefully all will become clear.  Writing this blog has not been easy.  It is something personal but I feel that God wants me to share it so here goes...

Like many little girls I dreamt of finding my Prince Charming and of having a family so that I could be a mummy.  For me the first part of this dream has come true because God has given me a very special husband who loves me for who I am.  Bringing us both together was part of God’s BIG plan but for many years I had abandoned hope.  I had been in a marriage that had irretrievably broken down……who would want someone like me, who was used goods, broken emotionally, physically and spiritually?  

God knew best and after many years of tears and pity parties where I was the only guest, God sent me someone who would love me no matter what.  A special man who would support me in the tough times and laugh with me in the good times.

When we find ourselves deep in the shadow of our hurt and pain, it is so hard to lift up our heads and see beyond the darkness.  It’s only when we get beyond our emotions that we see God’s plan was actually more than we had asked Him for in the first place.  

As I said, the first part of my dream has come true, as yet the second part of being a mummy has not.

I think that most women would say they have an inbuilt desire to be a mum.  I suppose it’s the trend that when you’re married a little while children will come along.  For us the journey to be parents has been extremely difficult and I would say it’s like being on a rollercoaster.  I have been through many treatments where the outcome has been another failure and disappointment.

Staying strong in faith and continuing to hope and believe has not been easy.  If I didn’t have faith that God could change my circumstances I don’t know where I would be.  I suppose what I’m trying to say is that the destination God has planned for us may not be where we had planned to go.  The journey to get there may be bumpy and have unexpected turns and dead ends, but all these are for reasons that we cannot comprehend and we still have to believe His plan is more than we asked for.

As a woman longing for a child to call me ‘mummy’ I know that I am not on my own.  God has brought special women into my life to share this journey as it is their journey too.  We stand united by a feeling of loss for something we have never had, with a deep desire in our hearts that we hope one day will be filled.  We stand together with the knowledge that Sara, Rebekah, Hanna and many other women in the bible have prayed the same prayers we are praying and God made the impossible, possible.

To all those women who have been given the gift of being a mother – do not take who you are and what you have for granted.  To those women who are on this journey longing to be a mum or are travelling another difficult road, hold on to your hope and keep it anchored.  God’s plan will always give you more than you dream of or hope for.  

Romans 12 v 12 says ‘Rejoice in our confident hope.  Be patient in trouble and keep on praying’.

As a final thought Epicurus once said ‘Don’t spoil what you have by desiring what you don’t have.  Remember that what you have now was the thing you once hoped for.’

Words Matter

By Mildred Rainey

I didn't think I'd ever do it!    

Surely it was worrying!    

Eeeeek it's what my Granny did,  and then I'd noticed my Mum doing the same thing!

Could it be a generational thing that I needed some serious prayer ministry for??

How could it have happened???    When did I start???

The younger folk who lived in Granny's generation used to shake their heads, smile and whisper to each other 'Ach! Bless her,  she's talking to herself again!!!!'

BUT!!!  I have now, with maturity and wisdom (I hope) come to realise that I don't have to apologise for it,  or pretend I wasn't talking to myself.  I don't have to explain that it's really an essential part of my creative personality!   I now know - IT'S BIBLICAL!  I'm in famous company - for instance King David did it all the time 

Phew!!!!   It's OK!!!   Breathe again  :-)

What I've also come to realise though is - it's even more important WHAT I talk to myself about!

MY WORDS MATTER!  They are so important that God talks about what we say all through the Bible.

It's a bit scary but our words really do create - either good or bad,  and it's been proved that we will believe much quicker what we hear our own voice say about ourselves than what others say.

If, for example, you say often enough, even without thinking,  'Oh I'm stupid'  (a word incidentally that I personally and passionately believe should be banned from the English language!) but, if you do this, you will believe it,  AND IT'S NOT TRUE!

Bill Johnson says - 'words planted in the heart attract opportunities for fulfilment.  You change the course of your destiny by what you meditate on,  by what you embrace.'

Meditating is a Biblical exercise we are told to practise,  and we all do it and are quite expert at it actually (although it's usually the wrong sort of meditating which is called 'worrying'!)

Part of meditating includes muttering to ourselves - I like it!  

Earlier this year I was feeling very overwhelmed by the 'too muchness' of my life.  Too much piled up all around me and all of it important,  and for once it wasn't my fault!  I really hadn't over-packed my days,  but it seemed to be never ending.  As soon as I got one thing sorted and started to breathe again, suddenly the next was hurtling towards me at an alarming rate and I didn't feel I had any more energy left. Do you know the feeling? 

My best prayer seemed to constantly be 'Lord HELP!!!  I can't do this!!'

 

I did not feel like a strong, faith-filled,  mature woman of God.

Isaiah is one of my favourite Old Testament books and one morning after my 'Help Lord' prayer I was reading in chapter 41, and suddenly verse 13 just 'jumped out' at me - 

'Because I, your God have a firm grip on you and I'M NOT LETTING GO,  I'm telling you DON'T PANIC!!  I'M RIGHT HERE TO HELP YOU'.  

Wow!!  It honestly was exactly what I needed to hear and I personalised the words and started to say them out loud to myself - realising it was God, the Creator of the universe, my Father who was speaking them to me - I would say,

'Today, I have a firm grip on you Mildred and I'm not letting go!!   I'm telling you DON'T PANIC!!  I'm right here to help you'

At the start of a busy new season The Lord has again reminded me of this verse and I'm again 'muttering it' to myself. 

Why not experiment for a week - ask Holy Spirit to help you and remind you not to say anything that contradicts what God says about you? 

Maybe you would like to take the verse I'm using - just take the week and 'meditate' on it.

 

Say the words out loud to yourself and say your name where the dots are........

Today, I have a firm grip on you...........and I'm not letting go!  I'm telling you DON'T PANIC!  I'm right here to help you

Or maybe these verses are the 'food' your heart needs  

..............I am your Shepherd.  I have made provision for everything you will ever need.  I never ever stop thinking about you - you are so precious to me

Don't forget - you must say it OUT LOUD to yourself.

It's from your Father who is crazy about you.