December Thankfulness

By Emily Lynas

I love December.  It’s a month full of excitement and anticipation. It reminds me of the precious things in my life and the faithfulness of Gods word.

A few days ago on an ordinary December evening I was doing laundry. There were three baskets sitting in front of me, and I was feeling a bit tired and fed up from a day of seemingly domestic duties! One basket was full to the brim with dirty tea towels and cloths from our cafe, one with myself and Dave’s clothes and one with the sweetest baby boy’s vests and baby-grows covered in sick and poo (excuse the vulgarity!) I stood looking at them tired and slightly fed up of feeling like I spent most of my time doing laundry these days...

Then He spoke.

...with abundant love and gentle rebuke.

The three baskets represented three beautiful dreams in my life.

The basket full of dirty tea towels and cloths were from a dream realized nearly two years ago now but one that had been stored up as a treasure in our hearts for years and years. Running your own business is hard work and incredibly fulfilling and I quickly saw that the drudgery of washing tea towels every week as an absolute pleasure and honor.

Thank you Lord.

The second basket was a mix of our clothes. It represented my marriage of 11 years! Marriage is an incredible adventure but also difficult at times. I am thankful for the hard times, moments in your marriage when you see what you are both made of, how strong and resilient you are. Anything that’s worth much in this life can be tough. The reward of the mountaintop after a long hike, the respect and love of your children after careful and challenging parenting. I prayed for a husband who would love me and especially make me laugh. We have weathered many a storm with God at the centre of it and come through them to sail beautiful calm seas. God reminded me simply to be thankful that I had Dave’s laundry to do!

Thank you Lord.

The third basket was full of Finn’s clothes, our new baby boy born to us nearly 51/2 months ago. Our little long awaited miracle who has been prayed for and wept over for many years.

Motherhood, some days it doesn’t seem real.

Motherhood, some days it feels tiring and mundane.

Motherhood, most days it feels mystical, joyous and calm.

I love the verse in Luke 2:19 where it talks about Mary’s quiet “treasuring”- her storing-up of moments of love mystery, wonder and tenderness.

            ‘But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart’

Becoming a mother has taught me so much about myself, my capacity to love, my surprising selfishness at times and my utter delight in the smallest parts of my day, a smile, a giggle or a cuddle on the sofa on a stormy afternoon.

Or... doing laundry for my son.

Thank you Lord.

Life is full of ordinary everyday tasks, but always know that your Father will reveal the wonder of His faithfulness through them.

This Tuesday the 22nd of December I get to celebrate my birthday as a mum for the very first time. I imagined this moment many times over the years. I will have a seemingly ordinary tea party in a rather hip cafe, with friends and a wonderful husband and dad to Finn by my side.

Thank you Lord.

No Need To Fear

By Sylvia Burnside

No need to fear, when times of trouble come.  Oppression's storm beats at your door - No need to fear.    No need to fear though evil seems so strong, their pride and their power is not for long.  

Graham Kendrick

Looking and seeing the almost continuous chain of sad news which fills our headlines, you could indeed be forgiven, for fearing the days ahead and sensing the heaviness of humanity.  So many of us can further identify with personal set backs, work related upheavals, family difficulties and health uncertainty that brings our lives to a stand still; a curious and often times mysterious place where the prevailing thought becomes..."where can I place my confidence?"

I so desire to have confidence -  It's that unspoken hope that rises up like a little fountain in your belly and a warmth that lingers like a hot water bottle placed over your heart ...AND I chase it with passion.   

From the day and hour I was born, I sought this warmth; a comfort, a refuge and that all encompassing confident feeling that all is safe and well.   As a child I accepted this assurance initially from my mother, then my father and as I grew I learned to accept assurances from wider family circles, then friends and then society.   

As a Christian, I was taught from the earliest age, that confidence is found in Christ and in all honesty, I accepted (in my child like manner) that this 'important' point was completely true - I just didn't quite understand it.

Be still my soul and trust in God and place your life into His hands, for He will never fail you and in the morning you'll see His face.    Graham Kendrick

Looking back at those early days and through the window of a loving family, I can just about recall sensing the gaps in society's confidence.   These gaps were not just confined to school and friends, but existed within our church community too.    I'd see people falling over themselves in genuine (and less genuine) attempts to 'climb' an unseen ladder of success that inevitably put them under pressure.   I'd see struggles, joys, fears, surprises and conflicts and hear many noises from bliss to agitation; all of which, for a child, was quite ....well interesting.  

Today as I write, I giggle while remembering the thought - I never could quite see 'the ladder', or particularly understand the confusion, but I knew it existed because adults talked about these things regularly.  

Jump 30 (or more) years ahead to another age and season when I'm..a good bit older (goodness) and we in our family believed that we just might lose everything.   Stability toppled and with no rhyme or reason we watched like spectators as whole shelves of our lives seem to dismantle and crash into a confusing scene.  Suddenly old memories make sense...suddenly struggle comes into perspective...yes, suddenly and without warning.

In our uncertain lives, there cooks a crock pot of stewed life experiences, vivid creative ideas with daft notions, blessed surprises with unfulfilled hopes, mysteries with discoveries, night with day, all seasoned with theological salt and social pepper and served with a large slice of crusty, well baked mindfulness.

I ask myself the question - How can I feel anything but fear!? Where is my childlike confidence that I used to have? 

No need to fear the envy and the scorn of those who boast in what they own.  For what remains, when life's brief day is done, their glories are a setting sun. Graham Kendrick

Jesus says...

"come to me all you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11.28-29 NLT

The Message translation would put it this way...

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Presently, I sit and wonder about the striving within my own heart amidst the many external life experiences.   I look, not so much with sorrow, but more, with a sense of 'lack' that I know is not a feeling my 'abundant' Father has designed for me.   

Let me explain... My life isn't all bad, nor has it been unfulfilling. There have been difficult trials for sure, but there have also been many incredible times of blessing and celebration. Life's experiences are everywhere and I'm learning that they, on their own, can't bring confidence, that they, on their own, can't bring inner rest and perhaps more fascinating...they on their own don't endure. It is instead WHO is with us as we journey through life's experiences that creates in us what IS lasting, what IS eternal and what DOES endure. 

But as for me, of this I'm sure, God will redeem my soul from death. Graham Kendrick

Right in the middle of all life experiences, right at the point when you'd think "is this it?" ...is a wonderful realisation...more than that....a life giving friend...

He is to me, a quiet peaceful and calm gentleman and I'm indebted to Him for His love, His warmth, His compassion, His ever strong reassuring arms.   When life has hurled surprises, His Spirit has held me tightly.  When the days seemed confusing and mixed up, He has assured me with companions and a confident peace.  When I am happy, He and His company have laughed with me.   When I do well, He smiles broadly.   When I don't do so well, He sympathises, reassures and helps me stand up and try again.   He is JESUS, He is SPECIAL and He has said that I am SPECIAL, ACCEPTED, FORGIVEN, LOVED, TREASURED ABOVE ALL, PLANNED, ADORED, ADOPTED, ASSURED and ETERNALLY DESTINED FOR MORE. 

And do you know what else - He has FRIENDS!  My husband, my family, my friends and the many others who reach out with His grace, His love, His warmth and His compassion so that whatever life throws, I will never need journey alone or without community.   

HE is CREATOR, He is PROVIDER and He is WONDERFUL and HE is my CONFIDENCE!

And He will never forsake you and in the morning You'll see His face. No need to fear - Don't fear!  Graham Kendrick

May Jesus BLESS and enrich your days.  

Ps..No Need To Fear by Graham Kendrick; my most requested song in 20 years of singing http://youtu.be/Zes1rpuCvxA

'Stuck in a Moment'

  by Karise Hutchinson

Transition.  A word cited often, but vague in interpretation.  For the scholars among you, I know it is not the Oxford Dictionary definition, but it has been my experience when listening to others.  It wasn’t until I journeyed a profound stage of transition that I encountered the reality of this mystery.   So, I write this still stuck in the moment (…. and I can’t get out of it as Bono from U2 sings), 12 months on between point A and point B in my story.  It is a prolonged moment (please note present tense!) where I have been stuck at the very edge of my comfort zone ready to move on to point B even though the exact coordinates and timing remains unclear.  Here is my unfinished story of the space in between, discomfort in the process, and the joy found in rediscovering my inheritance. 

I tell my students “you cannot be learning if you are feeling comfortable”.  Well, eating my own words, I can tell you two things I am learning in my discomfort …..

First, transition is marked by vulnerability.  The real beauty of vulnerability in this moment is not found in clarity (btw did you know God is not in the business of clarity?)  But, realizing that God knows and that is enough.  His plan is always only to reveal it as we become ready to embrace it. 

Second, the time is undefined.  When I talk to others who have walked through a time of transition there is no pattern. For some it may last only a few days, but for others a few years.  We never know how long we will be stuck, but the time is less important.  What we choose to do and believe in this moment is more significant.

In undertaking this new learning, I have discovered it is not a time to waste in waiting.  But rather it is a lifetime opportunity to rediscover joy in the moment.  Here is what I found works best:

 1.     Remind yourself how God has taken care of you this far in your journey.  If you keep a journal (and if you don’t, I would encourage you to start), take time to read and remember.

2.     Make a list of God’s promises and keep them close and visible. God’s promises are like a thread, holding us and keeping us from fraying at the edge.

3.    Forge a deep reliance on your Heavenly Father with daily check in and check out.  This in turn will strengthen your relationship with God and ensure you develop an innate resilience for the next chapter in the story.

4.     Remain authentic to what God has uniquely created you to do and be.  It can be confusing, as many will tell you to do this and that, but I urge you to stay true to God’s course for your life.
 

So transition doesn’t have to feel like being stuck in the moment. It is a time to reposition with deeper engagement and stronger faith.

My final thought is this; anxiety is imagining a future without God.  Trust the author of your story; He knows the beginning from the end.  God will weave the narrative of your story in such a way that allows the challenge of waiting to deepen the meaning of your purpose.  My story may be unfinished for now, as may yours, but the promise of inheritance when we become unstuck is this: “instead of your shame, you will receive a double portion, 
and instead of disgrace, you will rejoice in your inheritance.  You will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours” (Isaiah 61:7).

My being “Brave”

The stories keep coming in...

Here is another story from our Illuminate Women's Conference 2014: 

Be Brave which has become a fitting and inspiring addition to our Real Women Blog. 

I am not sure what I expected at my first woman’s conference – would it be too academic or theological for my understanding or enjoyment? Would it be just another “church service?” Going by myself did not help with the anxiety levels either but I need not have worried as the warmth of the welcome , passion for Christ and ‘womanly’ heartfelt joy of the room as I entered the building was overwhelming. I came, I worshipped, prayed, listened, acknowledged and processed the teaching and ministry much more than I anticipated and was prepared for and this refuelled my desire to seek and serve the Lord. Coming away from the conference I downloaded the theme song -“ You make me brave..” wanting to keep a lasting memory of those words and inspiration the words offered me un be known to me how often I would use the heavenly words in the month’ s to come.

My story isn’t as exciting perhaps as some. I am a wife, mum to four children – three 10yr olds and a 7 yr old (yes it is triplets – that is a completely different story!) I worked part time as a nurse in a handy wee nice number according me my family – things were routine and stable and then I visited Vineyard last summer!!!

Our first visit Tre Sheppard spoke about depression and I was moved to tears, physically streaming down my face overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit and the Lords message in that first visit. Over the following weeks Alan preached on using talents /skills to heal our communities and I felt the Lord speak to me, that he had a job for me, he was calling me out of my little comfort zone that I had so readily built for myself – I felt totally unprepared ! Family and children are my passion, have been my word and so inspired and full of God’s love I applied to train as a health visitor. I was shocked when I got an interview, even more blown away when they offered me a place – was this really happening? I was a wife, a mother, I had a nice wee job was I crazy, could I really do this? I would be making such a change to my life, my children’s life, my husband’s life – was it worth pursuing. Some of my extended family frowned had I really thought this through! I talked to a close Christian friend and asked her to pray with me for clarification on God’s calling and despite government funding problems for the course, and an uncertain time of whether it would go ahead at all the Lords plans for me where beginning to prosper and I commenced my full time training at University of Ulster in Jordanstown mid-September.

By the time the “Brave” conference started in November I had experienced tears, snotters, anxious deliberation as to what had I done, what was I thinking and was I utterly crazy for believing not only that I could do this at my age but the guilt at leaving my children daily to study and the added pressure of family life where all too familiar! God wouldn’t want me to struggle – why was I pursuing this! At the conference thee words from the song “you make me brave where like a light bulb – why was I making this so difficult for myself, God was challenging me to step out of my comfort zone but he was also there to share in my struggle I needed to be more faithful in His love for me, trust him more and believe better that he wanted me to do this and would be there every step of the way! That night when the preacher asked for those to stand for prayer to help women step out of the shadows, for courage to face the unknown I found myself standing to my feet filled with a new sense of trust, passion and a promise that God not only had a plan for me but he would walk with me on this journey.

So over the weeks and months I have been challenged beyond all expectation. I am thankful for my friend who has sent me words of scripture to bring me hope, encouragement and have found particular inspiration from 

Romans 8 v 28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose.

And

Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

In times of balancing kids,work, home and assignments or exams I listened to the words over and over again – “You make me Brave” and prayed for additional help, the words uplifting my spirit and passion in the Lords desire for me to succeed.

Well, I am now 4 weeks from graduating as a Health Visitor – I cannot believe the year and its training is almost complete. I have had many wonderful and not so wonderful experiences and challenges but this year has truly challenged my heart and soul, my faith and my trust in the Lord. I have had to be brave – step out of my comfort zone and called to ride the waves and storm of life that He has called me to. The Lord has a role for me to go out into our broken community and bring hope and love to women and their children and I pray that with the Holy Spirit encompassing me that those families that I will serve will know the love of the Lord and feel hope and compassion. I have not secured a job yet but I trust that the Lord will put me to use of his purposes and look forward with excitement to the next adventure He will call me to.

Thank you for your part – for refuelling my passion in the Lord and challenging me to become brave! To my friend who has been my listening ear, my praying back bone and the transcript reader of all my assignments, the Lord blessed me to have a friend like her to support me through this course! To my husband and children who have been supportive beyond measure and been brave in their own way to allow me the freedom to answer the Lords call and complete my training programme, but most of all I give my thanks to the Lord for giving me the opportunity, for giving me the strength, for giving me the promise of his unchanging love ….

I have heard You call my name
I have heard the song of love that You sing
So, I will let You draw me beyond the shore
Into Your grace, Your grace. 

As Your love
In wave after wave
Crashes over me, crashes over me
For You are for us
You are not against us
Champion of Heaven
You've made a wayFor all to enter in

You make me brave
You make me brave
You called me beyond the shore
Into the waves

You make me brave
You make me brave
No fear can hinder nowThe love that made a way

Regards,

Jennifer

Our next Illuminate Women's Conference is November 20-21st 2015   INHERITANCE

What will your story be?

http://www.causewaycoastvineyard.com/illuminate

MORE stories from "Be Brave"...

‘I. AM. LOST.’

 

Those were the words written in the journal of a lady who attended our Illuminate Women’s Conference: BE BRAVE in November 2014.  In the weeks before she came she had been struggling with what she felt she was made for.  After returning home, she wrote to us to tell us more of her story.

When I heard about the "Be Brave" conference I knew I had to go.  Thursday evening was my last chance at Christianity.  I was at an all- time low, tired of my shabby walk with God, tired of the struggle it was to follow Him.  I was in a whirlwind of emotion.  I felt useless, lonely and that I didn’t belong anywhere.  I felt I had no direction and that God wasn’t listening to me crying out for help. To make things worse, I knocked over some of the decorative vases full of water in the foyer after one of the afternoon sessions.  I felt everyone was looking at me.  While I was down on my hunkers trying to mop up the mess, a tsunami of humiliation and the confirmation that I was useless swept over me.  I couldn’t see the floor as I was sobbing my heart out.  I was that shattered glass.  The girls from the team rallied round to help, taking over the job of cleaning up and telling me everything was ok.  Ali came over to check I was OK.  She was wonderful, although probably shocked by my teary face.  She spoke to me with such kindness.  She told me I’m beautiful, which I’d never believed.  But more than anything else she told me I had purpose.  That I was made to bring healing and wholeness. I feel that God had sent Ali to me.  I had waited so long to hear this.  All along I thought I had to be ‘doing’.  Ali said I was to know who I was in Christ first – something a friend had told me earlier but it took hearing it from a near stranger for the message to sink in.
 I didn’t want to come back for the evening meeting but Ali encouraged me to.  She told me to be brave.  And I’m so glad I did.  When I came back that night Ali was the first person I bumped into.  She gave me a big hug and told me she was glad I had come back.  That night I was exhausted.  I woke up many times and found myself praying and giving thanks to God.  In the morning I woke to the words ‘My chains are gone, I’ve been set free,’ a song I know but have never particularly liked.  But now I felt that God was whispering to me and so I listened.  I felt that I was his little girl, an impression that has had such a huge impact on me in dealing with all the negative things I have previously believed about myself.
 I just wanted to let you know the impact you guys had on me this weekend.  I felt at home in your church.  I will keep you in my prayers and thank God for you and all your amazing work. 

As we think ahead to our Illuminate Women's Conference: INHERITANCE in November 2015, we would love to invite you to come as we gather to pursue an inheritance that is timeless, marked by faith and carried by hope. Come on Friday and Saturday the 20th - 21st November 2015 expecting an inheritance of boldness, action and transformation for our lives and our communities.

Here's one more of the many notes we received about last year’s attendee’s experiences:

 ‘Just prayed with a homeless guy.  Left him with a smile on his face, food in his hand and the name of our King Jesus in his ears.  Seriously, if I can do it, anyone can!  Our God is awesome. BE BRAVE!

Several other especially favourite emails were received throughout the year that said simply this:

I was brave today.

What about you? There's never been a better day than today  to Be Brave. 

Early bird tickets for INHERITANCE still on sale until 6th August

Inspired by "Be Brave"

"I just had to share this story with you."

That was how the email began.  It was from a lady who had attended our Illuminate: “Be Brave” Women’s conference in 2014.  We’ve been so blessed to hear from many of the nearly nine hundred women who were inspired to step out in some way by the sessions and seminars, each story as individual in its bravery as the women who sent them.

This is the story one brave woman wanted to share.

“So for a few months now I have really felt that God is telling me to use my story to show people hope, to show that you are never too far gone for Jesus.

I was having dreams about myself at fourteen and how my life could have been so different if I had made other choices.  I believe God was taking me back to those moments and asking me to reach out to the younger generation, to reach out to teenagers and show them that they don’t have to wait to make a difference – that they can step out and be part of changing where they are.

There are a lot of young people in my home town with nothing to do who end up turning to smoking and alcohol from as young as twelve.  I wanted to start something for them but kept hearing ‘no’ from anyone I phoned and was starting to feel really disheartened. I prayed about it at the conference and with new hope I made some more phone calls during the lunch break.  By the time we came back for the evening session I had a space to start the group and helpers to make it happen!  I am so thrilled but terrified!  I have never led anything like this but I know its what I am supposed to do.

It started as reaching out to kids from difficult circumstances but then God encouraged me to go bigger, so now it is open to all young people between the ages of twelve and sixteen.  The aim is to show them that they do have a voice, that they can make a difference and that if they are in difficult circumstances they do not need to become a product of those circumstances.  I’m going to be sharing my story and hopefully getting them engaged in acts of kindness and change in the community.

I can’t help but think how incredible it would be to see a generation of young people rise up and change the culture they are surrounded by.  To change the perception and negative stereotypes that surround the word ‘teenagers’.

I am honestly terrified.  I have no idea if it will work and maybe I’m dreaming too big, but I figure why not?  I’m jumping in with both feet and trusting Him.  I’m being brave.”

More "Be Brave" stories to come...

Survival Mode

 By Tori Sheppard

So the boring background bit is that I started to get sick a couple of months ago.  But just like the good girl I am, born and raised in the deep South of Steel Magnolias and Gone with the Wind, I put on my ivory concealer a little thicker each day under my eyes, upped the blusher, and curled my hair a little more than usual to convince probably only myself that I really was pushing through. This is just what WE women do. (rolls eyes)

I kept up my usual schedule but took some slow days of doing emails and phone calls in my PJs to see if that would do the trick.  After a month of “pushing through” and a couple of ill-timed dizzy spells, my cover was busted and I had to have those heart sinking conversations with my work colleagues and boss that used phrases like “you need to take some time off.”

So here I am now after having been off work for a month, and I’ve been actually full-blown sick for real.  (Note to dear reader:  Don’t worry. This is going somewhere.  I promise I won’t waste your time telling you the fine details of my boring illness. This is about what happened in the middle of it all.)

Although I’d been “pushing through” for weeks, just after I formally took sick leave from work, whatever was going on with my health took a dive for the worse and all at once, there was no longer the option of “pushing through.” Try as I might, I could only be in the bed or on the sofa.  Even talking for longer than a minute or two winded me. The time didn’t go slow.  It went like lightning because I spent most of the day in and out of sleep or battling with pain.  It felt like the days flew through a mist of sleep and pain, and overhearing kind people dropping off flowers and meals at the door.  Visitors weren’t an option because I just couldn’t do conversations. 

And suddenly, two weeks had gone by. 

This was a low point because up until then I have to say I wasn’t sad or low.  I was literally just in that “Survival Mode” that people who have been that kind of sick understand.  It’s all just… happening and you just have to get through it, somehow.

But you see, I had arranged to be away from work for two weeks.  It was all in order. I had painstakingly prepared for me to be away for that amount of time and in my desire to be in control of things, I had also argued to myself that my family would be ok for me to be down for about that amount of time, but no more.  I wouldn’t frighten my sensitive teenage daughter into thinking anything was seriously wrong with me and my husband and son would be ok in the chivalry of taking care of me for about that long. 

I had it all figured out.

And then, the pain was getting worse, not better. The diagnosis was still elusive and worst of all… I just plain felt sick and unwell everyday… so much so that my hopes of using this time off work to have time with God, read some books, write some songs, catch up on our family admin or even (get this) do some scrapbooking had to go out the window.  Yes, I realise my “crazy” is becoming more obvious by the minute here. 

You see I had been getting well meaning texts and messages from dear friends and loved ones saying things like:  “praying this time off will refresh you,”  “hope you get some special time with God during this time,” etc…  It was as if everyone was hoping, like me, that somehow this sick leave would actually turn into a pseudo-holiday or some form of personal retreat.  And what I realised at the end of that two weeks of looking NOTHING like retreat and instead like survival was that I was going to have to adjust my expectations… greatly.

And so it’s been another two weeks now that have also flown by so fast I can hardly believe it’s really been that long.  Dotted with feeling intermittently better and then right back with my head on the pillow worse than I was before, this has been a frustrating time of feeling like I am NOT winning.  And the complaint I have made over and over again (to the kind patience of my adoring husband I am sure… need I say he deserves a proper trophy after going through this with me) is that “I could handle the pain if I would just stop feeling so bad,”  “I can’t think…my mind is cloudy, etc.”  This has been the part that I haven’t handled well at all:  Losing the ability to engage with the world and access the usual flow of my mind and thoughts.  It’s been like thinking through molasses.

Now you may ask yourself… WHY are you telling us all this?

It’s because today I woke up feeling good.  I woke up thinking thoughts again.  Yep some pain is still there, but I finally feel better and all at once it’s like a key to a door I was trying to open has been pressed into my hands.  And as I’ve opened the door, here are the thoughts that have been forming and waiting on me to be articulate to say:

For me and everyone with a busy mind and a big heart out there who is living in a world of plenty, who enjoys coffees out with friends, buys healthy groceries for the family, who drives the kids to their music lessons, enjoys friendship and fun, or to all of us who love our work, our passions, our achievements… I’m talking about all of us who live a life that is not in Survival Mode:  We must not forget that we are given the gifts of all of this for a reason. 

I love the translation of Luke 12:48 in The Message: 

Great gifts mean great responsibilities; greater gifts, greater responsibilities!

As my plans were turned on their head over this past month and as I had no choice but to be ok with my head on the pillow, I realised I was in a season when my “sword” was at my side.  It wasn’t my season for battle, for ministry, for reaching out, for changing the world.  It would have been impossible for me to battle. I just couldn’t.

And today, when my head cleared and I felt like myself and my usual thoughts began to return, as that door opened, I began to think of all of the people in Survival Mode.

It started first for me with thoughts of Africa because the whole continent is so often on my mind.  And I suddenly understood with so much deeper revelation why we (with ALL that we have) are postured to bring HOPE and LIFE there.  It’s not because they are incapable of helping themselves.  It’s not because our sisters and brothers there don’t have the capacity to transform their communities or their continent.  It’s because when all that most of them can bring themselves to think about is keeping their children alive, avoiding being raped, wondering if they are still HIV negative and finding enough water to stay hydrated much less wondering if that water is contaminated enough to kill, it’s hard to imagine having the emotional or mental clarity or passion to battle for the bigger picture of community or continent.  What’s necessary for most Africans and (two/thirds of the world!) is Survival Mode… just being sure you and your family stay alive and well. 

Anything beyond Survival Mode is a luxury. 

But for those of us who are living most of our lives with our heads off the pillow, with our minds clear, our hearts open to hear God’s voice and with the capacity to battle the injustices of the world (WHATEVER injustice God puts on your heart) our calling is to reach out to those who are stuck in the cycles of merely surviving: whether that’s from poverty, abuse, grief, addiction… whatever is keeping them from hope and life.

Today, I read that in our town there was a shooting in a local estate. I bet that tonight right in my own town, there will be families gripped with fear, mothers who wonder if their children will ever live a better life, fathers who feel trapped in debt and shamed because there isn’t enough food for dinner, people with truly serious and terminal illnesses, men who live in despair and women caught in the grip of self-hate and all the horrible ways that works itself out in their lives... this list could go on and on.

We don’t have to look to Africa to see our own neighbours who aren’t really living but instead just surviving.  Survival Mode means you can’t fight… you need others to fight for you.

And Survival Mode is NOT refreshing.  It means that every waking hour is filled with only what it will take to get by.  This doesn’t leave time for dreaming, or for personal and spiritual growth or for doing the kinds of things that bring us life and makes us want to give life away.

 

Survival Mode means merely surviving, each day running into the next fearing what the next day may bring or being so overwhelmed with the events of the present that the future loses its importance.

During this past month, in my contextually very mild circumstance, my husband has had to drive for me, cook for me, make cups of tea for me and take care of our children.  I needed to be taken care of and I had so much support from my friends and my family.  I will truly always be grateful. 

But I am the exception… not the rule. 

The point is, my sword has been at my side this month because it had to be.  But trust me, as soon as I am fit and ready, my sword will be held high again.

For my friends and family, yes of course.

But my sword and everyone’s sword (because we are ALL the children of the Living God, daughters and sons of the Father of Light) was made to fight in the battle of darkness against light. 

I serve a Saviour who came to us to do this kind of stuff and model how we can do it too:

Luke 1:79

to shine on those living in darkness    and in the shadow of death,to guide our feet into the path of peace.

Isaiah 61: 1-3

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,    because the Lord has anointed me    to proclaim good news to the poor.He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,    to proclaim freedom for the captives    and release from darkness for the prisoners,2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor    and the day of vengeance of our God,to comfort all who mourn,3     and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty    instead of ashes,the oil of joy    instead of mourning,and a garment of praise    instead of a spirit of despair.They will be called oaks of righteousness,    a planting of the Lord    for the display of his splendor.

And so, if this past month of living in Survival Mode has yielded any good in my life, may it be that I remember who I am called to reach out to and why they are waiting for me, with their head on the pillow, to find my sword and fight for them.

I expect I won’t have to repeat this month of ill health any time soon.  I expect my life to resume its usual activities.  But I hope this past month won’t have been for nothing.  I can only hope that in some way it has made me better and has made me see that a period of Survival Mode is not all bad.  For now what I can see is that it has the benefits of making it clear just how much we need a Saviour to save us and how much we need each other to truly live.  

And that it’s ok and even inevitable for most of us for a season.

But for those who face a lifetime of living in Survival Mode, may God’s mercy compel us to step out of our comfort to show them His love… any way we can.