Sunday 20 April 2014

A year of “Real Women”



Today, we finish the Real Women blog one-year experiment with our final installment.

We began with a question:  What would emerge if a different woman from Causeway Coast Vineyard told a real story of something God was doing in each of their lives for an entire year? 

A year later, 51 different women have told their stories.

51 women who took a risk
51 women who said ‘yes’ when I asked if they would do it
51 women engaging in scary/exciting moments as they sat down at the computer to write their story
51 women and their expressions of utter vulnerability
51 women and the authentic stories of the power of God in their lives
51 women who gave gifts to us all

And those 51 stories didn’t just travel around the North Coast. No, they went much, much, further…

According to the statistics for the Real Women blog on Blogger, our little experiment has had almost 22,000 views from AROUND THE WORLD. Over 16,000 views came from the UK and the rest came from countries scattered across the globe. I guess that’s just the power of social media - but wow!  Who knew?

What was it about what we did that struck such a chord in so many?

I’ve thought a lot about it because I’ve been the one who sees many of  the “shares” on social media, and I have had the privilege of hearing from so many of the women who wrote about the impact their little blog has had on not only other women’s lives… but also their own.

For some of the brave women that wrote, it was the first time they had ever told that part of their story publicly. For some, it was deeply risky and deeply vulnerable to share their story. But you know what? The feedback from those women is that they LOVED doing it! And they received waves and waves of encouragement from other women who said they “needed” to read their story, who connected with their journey, their pain, their loss, their celebration, their revelation of Jesus, their understanding of their Father’s heart, their freedom, and their “real-ness.”

The more I’ve poured over all the comments from readers and considered all the conversations with the writers.  I am more convinced than ever that the power of our testimony and our stories is a powerful force in the Kingdom of God, even, might I say, a weapon of hope against the darkness and a full blown proclamation of worship and praise.

You see, each of these stories, at their root, says one thing. To sum it up it’s something like this: I am who I am because Christ in me is the hope of glory.   

Colossians 1:27To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.


So what we’ve done is publish, across the world, 51 stories of the faithfulness of God in the lives of women on the North Coast of Northern Ireland. 

We’ve said Jesus IS the power of healing and transformation in our lives. 2 Corinthians 3:18

We’ve said that when we were lost He found us.  Luke 15:32

We’ve said He gave us strength when we didn’t have strength to carry on.  Phillipians 4:13

We’ve said He is showing us who we were designed to be. Psalm 139:14-15

We’ve said He bore our grief and carried us in times of suffering.  Isaiah 53

We’ve said He lifted us from the muck and mire and placed our feet on solid rock.  Psalm 40:2

We’ve said He stepped in when we didn’t see a way out.  Psalm 18

We’ve said He is in the big of our lives AND the small.  Matthew 6:30

We’ve said He wants to be close to us and have intimate relationship with us as Father, friend and also Lord and Saviour.  John 10:30, John 1:14, Psalm 68:5, 1 John 4:14, John 15

We’ve said He rescues.  Psalm 37:39

We’ve said He wants us to be at peace with who He created us to be  Ephesians 2:10

We’ve said we should dream big dreams with Him for our community and our world   Matthew 28:16-20

We’ve said we want Him to use whatever is in our hands to serve the poor and reach out to those in any kind of need around us  Exodus 4:2 , Psalm 82:3-4, Matt 25:35

We’ve seen Him break the chains of worrying about what others think about us….so we can just be REAL.  Hebrews 13:6, Proverbs 29:25

To be honest, there’s no way I could begin to list EVERY attribute of the faithfulness of God and what you said He has done in your lives in this closing blog.

BUT suffice to say…

We’ve done something powerful women… And I’m not sure we even knew the power of what we were doing!?

For every woman that wrote AND for everyone who shared these stories around on social media and email, we were engaged in something immense, battling darkness and negativity and doubt and unbelief.

And all we were doing was turning on our light… Just shining the light that was in us already.

You’ll have to forgive me but I can’t help but think in pictures, and I’ve been thinking about Narnia when they lead the charge in the battle in “The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe,” shouting “For Narnia and for Aslan!” 

So as I've thought about we have done with this blog, I can't help but see all of us with hope lifted like swords held high shouting “For Jesus and His Kingdom!”  :)

I have to admit, the timing of all of this is interesting to me.  A year on from when we started these stories of His power and goodness in our lives, we are seeing almost 100 people a week come to Jesus on the streets of our community and in our church environments like services, groups, etc.  This is unprecedented for us!

Could it be that the power of our testimony was playing a small part all the while in getting the “soil” ready for this “harvest??”

Whatever the case, what we do know is this. The power of our stories is changing lives.  We MUST keep telling the stories of His goodness in our lives.  We MUST keep shouting as loudly and as widely as we can, that HE IS THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE. (John 14:6)

So…

We just can’t stop the blog.  ;)

It may not be posted every week but it will keep going for sure, probably monthly.  And we will keep telling the stories of women in our First Thursday events once a month and we will keep encouraging ALL of us to tell the stories of Jesus and what He has done in our lives. 

Now here’s a real confession from me: I didn’t expect this blog to be as special as it has been. I didn’t realise its power.  I think I’m beginning to understand the power of our stories more and more, the power of what happens when we just get the word out about how wonderful He is and what He can do not only in our lives, but in the lives of everyone in our world. I feel like we did a little experiment and He decided to show off what can happen when we just do what’s in our hands and available to do. He makes it wonderful!!!

Apparently it doesn’t matter HOW we tell our testimony, it’s just important that we do it. We know that there is a promise of OVERCOMING that we know comes from “the word of our testimony.”

Revelation 12:11And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.


So these stories have been much more than “feel good” social media moments. They are for overcoming, for speaking up, and for honouring the Father, friend and Saviour of our lives. 

In the first Real Women blog post I was encouraging us all to “just get down to the business of figuring out our own 'amazing' that God gave us and start living our lives in light of that.”  And that “I really do want us all to be the women we were designed to be: women on the road that 'leads to awesome.'"

This past year of the Real Women blog, we have shouted loud and clear that we are on the road that “leads to awesome,” and that HE is the reason we on on that road!

So, to sum up:

As a die hard Women Superfan I couldn’t be more delighted with all the “awesome” that has happened in the past year on this blog.  And that was only 51 stories.  There are THOUSANDS of you out there with stories that are waiting to be told.

So, yes we will continue the blog!

But more importantly than blogging your story, just be sure you are telling your STORY!  Shout your story of the faithfulness of God from the rooftops.  There is no telling what we will unleash, overcome, transform and set into being by the power of our testimony.  Just keep up the bold, courageous, “dangerous” lives you are already living.

This is us:
  
real movement of real women who believe there is a real reason to live and a real source of love: a real Saviour with real power to change and heal lives and communities and yes, the world. 

Thank you for making this year of the Real Women blog great.

So on this glorious Easter day, let's look to our Saviour and celebrate everything He has done.

Here’s to the adventures ahead…

I raise my hope like a sword held high with you all!

Tori




Sunday 13 April 2014

Let it go

By Ali Knight

One of my favourite things to do is go to the cinema with our gorgeous 8 year old daughter Kimi.  I love kid's movies and any excuse to laugh like a child again.  One of our favourite family movies is the superb Disney movie "Frozen." My favourite song in the movie is entitled "Let it go." This song although aimed at children, has such a strong message to us as adults, particularly the line "let it go ....the past is in the past."

How often do we hold on to things from our past or indeed  in our present that we need to let go of in order to be living more freely? Now that I am nearly reaching the grand "young" age of 41, I feel so much of my life to date has been learning more and more the importance of letting go of the things robbing me of freedom. I would love to give you a little glimpse into my journey, as I so long for others to find the freedom I've found, because I can say with all my heart that after many many years of struggling and wrestling with myself, I finally feel like a captive set free who's free to be me.

I don't want this blog to focus on the past but on what God has been teaching me about healthy choices that have helped me move on from all that robs me of the freedom He longs for me and you to have.  I'm challenging myself to sum up my past in a few sentences. Those who know me well know this is a major challenge for me as I can never text or email less than an essay!!!! 


Here goes....

Brought up in the most loving, secure, happy home; Full of joy childhood apart from a difficult incident that led to some healing to be done in later life; Teens, developed chronic fatigue (ME) struggled with people pleasing and developed approval 
addict tendencies; Could'nt say "NO;"  Twenties fought depression; on anti-depressants a little while; Struggled with loving myself and sought affirmation in all the wrong ways; Spent so much time burnt out, stressed out and feeling anxious; In early thirties felt robbed of enjoying the incredible husband and gorgeous daughter I have for all reasons mentioned above. 

It wasn't all gloom and doom!!! There were many many happy times in the midst of each of these stages but I never felt truly free.

I hadn't grasped the "who I was in Jesus."  Then things started to turn around when I looked to Jesus not others to be my shelter, refuge and resting place. I had tried to find my security in people-pleasing when actually I needed to look to God. 


I realised that there will be times that I disappoint others by saying "no" but that's ok.   In life we can't please everyone all of the time BUT He, Father God, loves us no matter what!!!

This is shared in a context of "I have not got it sorted, but I'm on a journey."  What I do know is making the following choices, even on my darkest days has brought me the freedom I longed for.  I am still learning and growing, embracing the fact that choices don't just happen, but take practice over and over.  I am so deeply thankful to the friends and family who have pointed me to the right choices, loved and encouraged me as I've made those choices (which haven't always been easy) and then have stuck with me as I've journeyed the "ups" and "downs" of the process of choices.


So what's helped ? 

Choosing to know who I am in Jesus and what I carry in Jesus.....living loved by HIM

Choosing to be real with God and others - others can journey with us but they can't fix us!!!! Keep it so real with God, He is big enough to carry anything we bring to HIM.

Choosing not to compare- DON'T compare.com 

He made you and me to be exactly that, you and me. Be free to be the you He created you to be!!

Choosing to say "Yes" out of a place of knowing what I'm saying "yes" to is right, rather than out of a place of people- pleasing

Choosing Hope - On the days I don't FEEL hope, choosing to hold on to the truth of knowing there is hope in Jesus, until the feeling of hope returns

Choosing not to stay stuck and seeking to break free until I do

Choosing to move out from the shadow of shame, nothing and no one is beyond God's mercy and grace.....we are always good enough in HIS eyes. Romans 8 vs 1,2, 15,16 (the Message)

Choosing to leave my baggage with God. Before David fought Goliath he handed over his baggage to the baggage keeper. 1 Samuel 17 vs 22

Choosing to let go of worry and always trust God is in control

Choosing to not always have an explanation - When Gideon faced adversity God didn't give an explanation but an affirmation of truth -  "Go in strength..." Judges 6 vs 13-14

Choosing laughter - even on your darkest days choose to spend time with the joy givers who cultivate JOY in you.

Choosing to reach out to others in our pain - I have found such deep release and freedom when I've chosen to let the unthinkables that have happened in my life become the redeemables that bring life in helping others. This hasn't been easy and has been the hardest choice of all, BUT choosing to keep reaching out to others, in His strength, has brought more healing, freedom and joy than I ever imagined possible.

What is the Lord gently whispering to you and me to choose and let go of?  Freedom is waiting for us all in a way that is always beyond what we imagine possible.


The Lord longs to 


“Bestow upon you a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair......you will be called oaks of righteousness a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendour” Isaiah 61 

Let it go, the past is in the past!!!!!








Sunday 6 April 2014

From The Inside Out

By Rachael Lockhart

When I was asked to write this blog my reaction really took me by surprise. It wasn’t fear or apprehension; instead I thought how will I be able to pick one thing to share? I have so much to be praising my Lord for. 

The reason this reaction took me by surprise is that until very recently I didn’t think I had anything of worth to talk about….. I wasn’t very interesting! I just want to tell you a little of where I’ve come from to help you understand just how God has changed me. 

I am the eldest of 6 children and grew up in local housing estates. I don’t have many memories of childhood but the few I do have aren’t really very happy. Family life was a struggle. My parents didn’t have very much money and found it difficult to provide for us. On occasion they didn’t know where our next meal was coming from. 

From a very young age I got bullied, I couldn’t even go to the shop but I would run in to trouble. I carried that fear with me all the way through school so I would put up a front, not allowing anyone to get too close. 

I wasn’t very interested in academic stuff and spent the majority of secondary school staring out the window dreaming of my knight in shining armour coming to my rescue; needless to say my exam results told the same story!! However, I was really good at sport and spent all my time throwing myself in to that. I loved hockey and played for school and then for Coleraine ladies where I shone. I had ambitions of becoming a PE teacher but was discouraged because of my academic history. 

In my mid-teenage years I was more confident outwardly but by now trusting people had become a real issue. I was already struggling with who I was and wondering did people really like me? 

Most of my childhood my dad was absent, being broken and hurting himself he was always getting involved in petty crime and spent a lot of our childhood in and out of prison. Towards my late teens his social drinking was becoming more often, developing into the addiction and life-destroyer that alcoholism is. He was clearly hurting, but what became my, my siblings and my mum’s every day was that he was hurting all of us too. Don’t get me wrong, my dad was so much fun to be around when he wasn’t drunk and would do what he could for us, unfortunately these times became fewer and fewer. 

I seemed to take the brunt of his pain as we got older. I couldn’t work out what I had done to make him want to hurt me so much. Was it because I was the eldest? Was it because I often challenged him on it or because I was always telling my mum to leave? Or perhaps it was because I wasn’t his natural child? I loved him so much but he was hurting me. His words were sometimes so cruel. If I was being naughty or being a difficult teenager he would threaten to send me back to my ‘real’ dad, whom I didn’t know and had never met. I was always afraid of having to go and live with another family I didn’t know. I would be so afraid walking home from school that a strange man would stop the car, say he was my ‘real’ dad and take me away. I had my journey home from school all planned out so I could make a quick get away!! 

I would often wonder. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I be loved? Why was I abandoned by my natural dad and now the daddy that I so desperately wanted to love me, why was he hurting me this way? 

Even though I wasn’t very good at school I wanted to have a career, get married and have a family in that order. That didn’t exactly go according to plan. In my dream of finding my knight in shining armour, who was going to take me away from life as I knew it, I fell pregnant at 18. This just confirmed to me that I was worthless. I had no self-respect, drinking and partying too much because I thought that’s what I needed to do to be liked, accepted and loved. Now what was I going to do? How was I going to be a mum? How was I going to love a baby?

My best friend Amanda was my rock and helped me believe that everything was going to be ok. I owe her so much, more than words can ever tell her. She was and is the most amazing friend. The next few years my confidence was like a rollercoaster. Even though I had my knight by my side, loving and protecting me, I still felt worthless. No matter how often he told me how great I was and how much he loved me, I was always pushing him, looking for different confirmation. No matter what he said or how he tried to show me, deep down I wasn’t convinced. I had the most beautiful baby girl that I was and still am so very proud to show off, a very handsome knight and had trained as a hairdresser, but still there were some very unhappy days that I couldn’t explain. 

During my second pregnancy my moods were often low and I became paranoid, feeling like I was losing control of my life. This pregnancy was planned so why wasn’t I happier? I was still believing for my fairytale and happy-ever-after life, but reality looked very different! Following the birth of our second baby girl I started crying a lot and having suicidal thoughts. I kept that to myself putting on my public face…..the one society and the media said I should have. I wouldn’t let anyone in but expected Geoff (my now husband ) to just know that there was something wrong. My bestest friend was always there to listen but I didn’t even share all with her. Now when I look back at this time I can clearly see that My Lord and saviour was with me.

Ten months after the birth of my second beautiful daughter I was diagnosed with having depression. These were some of the darkest days. I didn’t want to do anything or go anywhere unless Geoff was with me. I couldn’t hold a conversation without analysing what that person thought of me. At times I got so anxious at the thought of doing anything for myself. I felt like a failure, my knight deserved better, my children deserved a better mum, someone who could take them to school and make friends with their friends’ mums...to take them to the park without having to wait until their dad was with us. How would they grow up to love me? 

I was so afraid of Geoff leaving me (and who would have blamed him) that I started smothering him. I needed to know his every move, where he was, who he was with and how long was he going to be away from me? I started taking anti-depressive medication and had a few counselling sessions and a light began to appear. Geoff remained so loving and positive toward me, no matter what I threw at him he was always telling me YOU CAN do anything YOU put my mind to. You are beautiful and funny and loving. You are a great mum and they love you. Finally believing him I went back to school and with his amazing support and that of my friends I qualified in 2004 as a nurse. 

During this training Geoff and I got married and had our third baby girl. I couldn’t have been happier; I loved my job and had a beautiful family. But the depression still had a hold of me. There were still days of total anxiety, fear, hopelessness and worthlessness. I still felt a huge void in my life and I was still blaming Geoff for not loving me enough or the right way, still looking for him to fix me. 

The question for this blog was….What has/is God doing in your life? WOW….Where do I start! I AM HAPPY and full of HOPE. I now have my own voice and identity and I am finally proud to be me and I now know that the Knight I was desperately searching for is my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. August 2011 my life changed beyond anything I ever thought possible; the first time I knew the presence of the Lord was when I came to Vineyard for the first time. 

Our circumstances had become so overwhelming that I was really struggling to keep my head above water, to even breathe at times. My best friend had already begun going to Vineyard and knowing how much we were going through had invited me to come to church with her. ‘You’ll love it Rachael, everyone is great and it might help’. Of course I resisted for a while, then one Sunday I got up and got dressed and went…….WOW!!!!!!! I now know that what I felt that morning was the presence of the Lord meeting me at the front door of the old Dunnes building. The song Kathryn Scott sung that morning spoke to me very loud and clear…. "Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me!!!" 

I couldn’t wait to get home to tell Geoff all about it. I tried to explain what I had felt but I couldn’t. So he came the following Sunday and felt it himself, literally!! It was a physical presence wrapping us up and making us feel safe. I always believed there was a God but had too many questions that didn’t make sense, I’d never heard of having a relationship with God…..that would have been bonkers!

The people I met that morning and continue to meet actually wanted to talk to me and get to know me just because. The love that shone from them was definitely something I wanted too. I have met the most amazing people who have guided, taught and shown me that Jesus is alive and recues and saves. I gave my life whole heartedly to my Lord on the 18th December 2011, the exact date and moment my husband did…..That’s a story in itself. 

In 2 ½ years the Lord has changed me from the inside out. I have Jesus at the centre of my life who has given me self-worth and my own voice. I no longer believe I’m a failure but a true woman of the Lord with a design and a purpose of my own. I am exactly who He intended me to be and I don’t need to hide behind my husband anymore. He shows up in every area of my life.  

I am on the welcome team at church and LOVE to talk to newcomers at the end of Sunday’s service. I want everyone I meet to feel as I did when I met Father God for the first time and love watching peoples’ faces when they realise that Jesus is real and alive. I also lead a support group for single mums once a month in church where we as a family can love one another through difficult times and enjoy happy times together…..amazing!!! 

God has taken that broken person who didn’t feel she had anything of worth to talk about and put her into areas where talking and sharing is essential…. Lol, what an amazing Father we have, the exact thing that I found the most difficult and that’s where I am serving Him. I love Jesus and want to shout it from the rooftops and often share my faith with my work colleagues and family. 

Shortly after my journey began my mum joined us at church on the Sundays she wasn’t at work and has also given the Lord her heart. What an amazing journey she is on and I love watching our Father God heal her also. I have a deeper and stronger relationship with my husband, whom I now totally believe loves me and wants to protect, care and provide for me. He has always believed in me and I love him for that. I have better relationships with my family, including my dad who is still battling with alcoholism and his painful past. He has asked Jesus into his heart and I will continue to pray for his healing. 

As for my children, well I enjoy every moment of life with them. God and I are in a partnership of love, strength and hope…..He has delivered me from the hurts of my past, from the disappointment, bitterness, resentment and self-hate and has given me His GRACE.