By Jade Brolly
Praying it is an encouragement to anyone who has that person in their life who seems so far from God, disinterested or even hostile at the mention of Jesus...I wanted to share the story of how I encountered Jesus.
I grew up in Australia, and was raised in a Christian home with two siblings. I was always taken to church and remember loving Jesus from a young age. I knew He was my friend, He loved me and it was joy to sing to Him and sing about Him. But by the time I was 10 or 11, I didn't know that anymore.
A series of painful things at home and sudden changes, one being my parents divorce, left me in a place where I didn't know God was near anymore. I believed He existed but I didn't believe in His love. That pain, anger, disappointment, and fear created in me a real resistance to God over the years and Christians especially.
I was definitely a moody opinionated teenager and when asked I often said I was an atheist. It felt easier and safer to rely on myself than turn to a God I didn't know anymore and was sure wouldn't want me. At 14, we moved to Northern Ireland as my mum recovered from cancer. She was recovering but needed the extra family support here. From that point our dad cared for and raised us. It was safe, stable and for the first time there was no expectation for me to have a faith or attend church. I embraced that freedom and didn't give it much thought again until university.
I would say that my world was really small because I was at the centre of it. I relied on and trusted myself above anything else. Then I got sick, didn't get onto the course I had my heart set on, and was struggling with a relationship that wasn't healthy or positive at all. I started another course and kept up my public persona of someone who has it together, is always smiling and partied a lot. But there were more than cracks in it, the things I propped myself up on were crumbling and I wasn't coping. I tried 'fixing' things about myself on the outside, hoping things would get better but nothing worked and I read so much self help stuff!!
Spiritually I was very open and didn't have any problem believing in the supernatural so I began searching for answers in that, but had already ruled out Christianity. I studied the New Age and Buddhism personally and for university. In a way, it suited my default of self-sufficiency because those practices are about achieving enlightenment through self-perfection, or actualisation or whatever jargon. During this time I kept encountering Christians. On my first day of university, people were handing out Gideon bibles. I kept it even though I wanted nothing to do with all that. On nights out I remember leaving the club and people were handing out sweets to us at 2am. I knew they were Christians and seeing that unsettled me so much, in a good way, that I had to go and ask them why they were here. The answer I got was something like, 'we want people to know we care'. Then in the New Age teachings, Jesus was mentioned over and over, albeit as being a good spiritual teacher not as God.
Finally, I felt compelled to look up the scriptures being quoted and had that Gideon Bible. The Holy Spirit changed my life as I started reading those. He came and made it alive, and real and recognisable to me as a living supernatural Word about a living supernatural God who speaks and moves today for everyone. For me. And that He is near and involved in our lives, not doling out orders from heaven, keeping himself apart from us.
I had met a woman, Judy, on the same course. At first I didn't know she was a Christian. I just knew something was different about her and it drew people. And I just wanted to be around her. And as I began exploring scripture and talking about it she encouraged me so much. For the first time, through her, I was seeing what a life of faith and risk looked like up close. For me, it confirmed that what is in scripture is for now. Then, before even giving my life to God, He began giving me dreams that I knew were from Him.
I spent about 6 months journeying this, attending church with another friend, looking for God to speak and it got to the point I knew I had to give my life, speak it out loud and declare I am his. I didn't know how to do that but that Gideon Bible came in handy again because the prayer was in the back of the book. And that was another start. It is amazing to me because God knew how to speak to me, how to get around my defences but oh so gently do that. The Christians I met along the way couldn't know how their actions were used to stir me and Judy couldn't have known we would meet or the impact that would have on my life. But God did. He is so faithful, so concerned about the details of our lives and the depths of our hearts.
I'd like to leave you with one of the earliest dreams I felt was from God for me. I didn't know it was a reflection of a scripture until I had shared it with Judy and she pointed me to 1Peter 2:5. I was looking at a building, like a smaller scale pyramid. But I could see each individual stone. They were translucent, each differently coloured and shimmering with life. But each stone had a crack in it. I knew each had this, a fatal flaw that made it unsuitable to build with conventional logic. Yet each WAS used, was so so beautiful and the structure was holding. It was unified and just fit perfectly, majestically. And as I looked I realised that the stones were people, living breathing, uniquely individual people. Being built into something amazing and made more than able by God.
"you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices to God through Jesus Christ."
