God’s Redeeming Love

 By Lynn Bourgeois

There was once a time when I was a young teenager that I worshiped God and thought I knew what faith was. I thought it meant doing lots of jobs in the church, leading the youth fellowship, helping with the youth club, completing tasks to prove something, but I really didn’t know anything then. I didn’t know that Father God loved me with a love beyond anything I could ever know and I didn’t know I could trust him completely and that whenever I did things for him, all he wanted was for me to feel the peace in doing it and if i didn’t feel that peace, then maybe that wasn’t what he had in mind for me to do just now. 

You see when I left home at the age of 18 my task orientated love of God had burned me out... and I didn’t want it any more..I ran away from God because I didn’t understand that he loved me, and I didn’t understand how amazing that love really was.

I was out in a big open world then, and I wanted to be free to try everything. Night after night I would party and get drunk because it brought me joy, for a little while... I fell in and out of relationships because all I ever wanted was to feel loved and needed, and to be in love made me feel worthy for a short time. But, even with all those things I did to push away God, he never stopped pursuing me, so many times when I could have got myself into trouble he protected me with his love.

I had an amazing life in normal terms; a blessed life, I got married; had an incredible job. I was successful; I travelled all over the world; I saw beautiful sights, but always there was something missing, somehow in the midst of it all I would sit gazing over the most incredible views feeling lonely, and unloved...

Then 10 years ago my life fell apart, my mum died, and the following year my husband left me and I got into the deepest darkest place I had ever been. It was then that God gently stretched out his hand, and offered me his love, and this time I took it...

For all those things I did that many would have condemned me for, he never judged me... he just loved me more. I gave my life to God again at an Alpha course 8 years ago and every step since then he has been with me. At that stage I had met a another young man and a we had had our first child together... and as soon as I committed my life back to God,  all the fears from my childhood welled up again... all those lies the devil wanted me to believe....What if I had to get too busy and didn’t have any time for myself any more...What if he didn’t accept me because I wasn’t married?...I cried out to him “ take it easy on me” I can remember listening to a song of that title over and over again.

One Sunday at a church service, shortly after giving my life back to God again I can remember bursting into tears, because my partner was strictly against marriage and I was sure God would just walk away from me again....Two lovely ladies, took me to one side and prayed with me and we handed it to God to sort out...and do you know what? He heard my cry and I don’t know how he did it, but, within a month my partner, decided we should get married.

And every step of the road along the way it has been like that, I step forward tentatively and he lifts me up and answers. Sometimes the answers don’t come straight away, sometimes they hurt a little, but he always answers in the most amazing ways.

All those years ago, I might have stopped loving Him, but he has never stopped loving me, and I trust him now beyond compare, and I know He will never leave me, He will never stop loving me no matter how many mistakes I have made, or continue to make, and now I know that I will never stop loving Him.

His love redeems everything, He has used every wrong decision I have ever made for good in the most remarkable way. He has never asked me to do anything, I have always just wanted to do things because it brings me joy to see Him happy, and it brings me joy to see other people set free to blossom.

And do you know what still throws me the most, is that everything I have done in His service, just feels right, like I was always made to do this, even though some of the things I do, I was just trying them out because I never really believed I could do them. It turns out that God made me to be this person that I never believed myself to be and it brings me such joy to be that person.

I may not have a perfect life but I am happier now, than I have ever been before, because I am in love with a God who will always be there and it blows me away that all He really wants is my love in return, and do you know what? Being this much in love is the happiest place on earth that anyone could ever be.

The Parable of the Water Coolant

  By Thelma Campbell

            When Jesus walked and talked on Earth, he used parables reflected in the everyday 'cut and thrust' of life to illustrate moral or spiritual lessons to his many followers. So it's not surprising that, '2000-ish' years on, parables still present all around us as we journey through life - hence the title that I've chosen for this blog entry!

            George and myself are not quite 'empty-nesters' since the youngest of our three boys, Rory, still lives at home after graduating from Queens three years ago. His weekly commute to work in Belfast is sometimes by train but mostly by car ie: my car ! 

           Since I've recently retired from teaching, I now only get to drive my car when Rory doesn't need it ! About a month ago, on one of those rare occasions when I was driving my car, I noticed the words "Coolant Level" appear on the dash screen. I didn't take much notice of this since I knew that the car had been recently serviced and the mechanic would have told me if there was any problem with the coolant (not that I know anything about it... apparently, coolant stops the car engine from freezing in the winter and over-heating in the summer!!!)  A couple of weeks later, when Rory came home freezing, complaining that the car heater wasn't working, I did take notice!   Time for action !

            Now, no-one in our house is "mechanically-minded", but I thought that the obvious thing to do was to check the water coolant bottle (which was located via the car manual and Google) and then to fill it up with new water coolant.....(simples!!!) That done, I was so confident that the problem was sorted when I spotted it - a brown sludgy puddle under the car indicating that there was a leak probably from the bottle or a hose or something else that I didn't have a clue about...!          

Time for another trip to the mechanic .... Google couldn't help me with this !

           Long story short, the mechanic showed me the offending tiny pin prick hole in the hose 

(which could have been a bigger threat to the car engine than I had realised !) The replacement hose had to be specially ordered from the manufacturer since it was moulded into a particular "Best Fit" shape (meaning any old hose just would not do for the quick fix that I really wanted !)

Once the designer hose was procured, it certainly wasn't a big problem for the 'one-who-knows' (mechanic) to get the car on the road once more producing full heater capacity for all to enjoy !

            This little 'water coolant parable' seemed to me to reflect the following .......

                    Pay attention to warning signs (they could affect your journey ahead!)

                    Get expert advice/help quickly  (instead of relying on Google!)

                    There's always a solution with The Designer  (no cheap 'quick-fixes' with Him)

There have been times when l've ignored warning signs which could have seriously affected my Life's journey with Papa God. I didn't always see Him as my Heavenly Daddy, because my earthly Dad died suddenly at the age of 38 when I was 10 and I 'kind-of' blamed God for taking him away from us. Then, when I was 20, my 18 year old brother, who had just joined the RUC, was murdered by the IRA in the 'Early Troubles'. My journey with God was definitely affected as I just was happy to "maintain" a token Christian Walk and Talk and my 'Heavenly Insurance' policy! I suppose you could say that I had an orphaned heart which beat out its rhythm of doubt, fear and mistrust over my life resulting in no real Life or movement in my Christian development........and that suited me "quite we'll thank you" at that time!

It wasn't until I got married and after a few years became a mum (of 3 boys) that I kick-started my journey further with God. Becoming a parent gave me a different perspective on life and I decided that this new journey had to be fuelled with trusting Him and simply believing what He says in His Word. Now ........ long story short ..... I absolutely know in my "knower" that God loves me and has been with me throughout those particular tough times and many others. That's why I can call Him Papa with great confidence!

I'm sure that there are many more modern-day "parables" ready to be experienced and shared.

                     

Can't wait! ......

"She who has ears to hear"...........and all that......!!

Loneliness

By Viktoriya Zvereva

from her blog, "Viktoriyous" http://viktoriyous.blogspot.co.uk

Growing up as an only child, loneliness is something that I have really been struggling with for as long as I can remember.

Some of my earliest memories are playing in the forest behind our house by myself. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? I did; more than one actually!

Feeling alone is something that I have struggled with for a long time. Sometimes you feel alone because you ARE and other times you are physically with people but feel alone in their midst. Do they care? Do they understand? Do I matter? Why doesn't anybody pay attention to me?

Loneliness is so hard. It leads to crying alone in the car, depressing thoughts, and wanting to lay down in bed and never get up.

So whats the solution?

For me, it was Jesus. 

He told me "I will never leave you or forsake you!"

I've learned over the past few months that even if I feel alone, I am not. That moment when I'm thinking that nobody cares, nobody understands or loves me, God is thinking...

"I'M RIGHT HERE!!! 

I'M CRAZY ABOUT YOU! 

I'M THINKING ABOUT YOU! 

YOU ARE MY CHILD! 

COME TO ME, GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR BURDENS! 

I WANT TO BE INVOLVED; I HAVE A PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE; YOU ARE SO SPECIAL TO ME!!!!"

I wonder if God feels hurt when we say that we are so alone.

Seek God, and you will find Him.

But another thing I learned was that God loves to give us healthy and stable friendships. A few weeks ago I asked Him to give me a close friend here in Northern Ireland that I can talk to about Him and that can encourage me in seeking God's face, and He did! He loves for His children to be in community!

What is it that your heart truly desires? 

I think that what God really desires is for us to desire Him above anything else. To LOVE Him with all our hearts, souls and minds.

How do you feel about this desire of His?

If you are feeling lonely, tell Him! He already knows anyway, but He wants to hear it from you. Ask Him for a friend who will encourage and support you. Seek community with the people of God.

But most importantly, seek Jesus and His presence. He is the one who will always be there. Nobody else can fill that space for us. Jesus is the best friend I have ever had. He's never messed up, said something to hurt my feelings, manipulated me, left me, or abused me. HE IS SO AMAZING!!!! If you don't know Him, getting to know Him is the best decision you will ever make.

So please allow me the honor to make the introduction.. "Dear ____, (insert your name here), Id like you to meet my Best Friend, Father, God, Savior, Doctor, Lover, and just the most amazing identity in the universe" (no overstatement necessary.. hehe :) 

....and THAT, my friends, is the solution for lonliness and friendship, if you ask for my two cents :)

Fragrance

by Anne Stewart

I don't really like the smell of perfume on me, however I love it on others and like nothing better than to stand in Jo Malone and inhale. I think it might be the fact that a lot of their fragrances involve food. (lime basil and madarin is a favourite).

While reading a book I got for Christmas, I came across a quote from Mark Twain that stopped me in my tracks ,

"Forgiveness is the fragrance  that the violet sheds on the heal that crushes it."

I had to read it again and again. It is such a powerful and beautiful description of the act of forgiveness. That we can arrive at a place where forgiveness is released as an aroma, a fragrance that can be sensed by others, just filled me with awe. The use of the word fragrance was playing around in my mind . That same day I was listening to a pod cast from Bethel Atlanta and the topic was again "Fragrance."  The speaker Steve Hale was describing in a similar way that God can take our scars whether physical or otherwise, and in the healing, they become the stories of our lives. Stories of healing that emit a fragrance of his grace, that we get to release to others. We get to replace the story of pain and distress with something else that smells so much sweeter than death and decay. 

This brought me back to 6 months ago when we were awaiting the arrival of the undertakers who were bringing my mums body home from hospital. Everyone was aimless and lost in our own pain. Then we heard the laughter and commotion from another room. We found the oldest grandchildren enthralled and delighted...while looking for something else they came across Mums albums and books of cuttings. They found photographs and mementoes of the big and happy events in their lives. Birthdays, exams,weddings... all documented with such pride. We laughed at clothes and hair and were amazed at how much they looked alike at different stages. At that moment I felt covered in love; sorrow was pushed out . This was her way of showing us how much she loved us all . Everything we had become, everything we had achieved was important not only to us but to her.  At that moment it felt that love had conquered death. 

So as I look back at that day this is the story that jumps into my mind first. I have to admit I tried to write these words a few times but had to give up. I now realise the healing process had begun on that day. There are still days when tears flow and I ache with loss, but over time I now realise that my story will release the fragrance of having been much loved by her and of God's healing touch in those days.

In 2 Corinthians 2:14 it says : 

               "But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ 

                and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him. 

                We are to God the aroma of Christ."

This takes me back to doing Encounter last year, when a certain "second year" would often say after another supernatural encounter, "Doesn't that smell of Jesus ?" (It helps if you imagine saying it in a Cumbrian accent.)  

Even then I loved the fact that our senses could detect His presence in ways we couldn't imagine. It is so beautiful that we get to carry this fragrance of forgiveness, love...of his healing grace in our lives. This is one perfume I am only too happy to carry .