Not on my watch!

By Melanie Gibson

1 in 5 mums skip meals so that they can feed their children.

In Coleraine, Portstewart, Portrush, Garvagh and beyond folks are making difficult choices every day over something so simple as can we eat this tin of soup or keep it another day!

Thinking about this and it's reality in our towns just makes me feel sick, sad & angry, and I know it makes God feel this also.  But to be honest I didn't used to think like this or see it or feel it at all! I had a nice wee job, had not long come home from living in England and was kind of wondering why and had started coming along to CCV where I felt a wee bit awkward at times but loving it all the same.

Loved worship & in particular Hillsongs "Hosanna":

Heal my heart & make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen, show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours, everything I am for your Kingdoms cause as I walk from earth into eternity

One day I sang and prayed and actually found myself meaning it! So often I think we sing songs and are blinded to what we are actually declaring in worship and song but for me this day was different

I had been home probably about 8 or 9 months and had been wondering why I had come home. I had a great wee job, friends and church in Cumbria where I had met Jesus a couple of years prior to that, and although where I was when I came home I had a good job, good people & family around me.  Even with all this  and a desire to seek God more and more and be closer to Him and His word I found myself increasingly alone and with a real longing and loneliness inside.

I sought God in worship and in His word to conquer these feelings and asked Him for His purpose for my life to be revealed...

Break my heart for what breaks yours Father

Not long after this the Sunday Food Giveaway started which after 3 1/2years we partnered with our churches in the community and the Trussell Trust and the Causeway Foodbank launched in March this year.

What an adventure this has been for us as a community to bring hope and break the chains of poverty in our city.

When we pray "break my heart for what breaks yours," we have to be prepared to take a step an be moved with compassion to do something about the issue, injustice, cause or stirring of your heart for the lost that the Father is breaking your heart for, in whatever environment you find that in whether its church, work, the school gate, with friends and family etc.

As women we are uniquely placed, blessed anointed and ordained by our mighty Heavenly Father to change the world for His glory wherever we are.

When our hearts break for something that breaks Gods heart and we step out and say not on my watch in a simple act, we can push back the darkness and make a difference.  When we take a stand for God against sickness, injustice, poverty, etc. God equips and empowers us with all we need.

We (hopefully) have 80 ish years to make a difference in our worlds and change our community for the generations to come, and we have the power and God graced uniqueness as women to stand and say, sickness- not on my watch; a young generation with no hope - not on my watch; addiction crippling lives - not on my watch; loneliness and isolation whilst parenting alone -not on my watch; suicide - not on my watch etc. the list is endless and we are all stirred to something more than ourselves.

We can't all do everything but we can all do something!!

I'm sure as you can tell I'm a little bit passionate about all this, for me when I hear or see a single mum who just drinks tea all day and eats one small meal so that she can have enough food to make sure her daughter eats properly - i think, not on my watch; or a family who's business folds and the stress and anxiety of how and where they will provide the basic necessity of food for their family gets so much that they don't want to get up in the morning or face another day - not on my watch or the 17 year old who due to difficulties at home finds herself in a strange town with no money, no food & no one to turn too- not on my watch!

Father break our hearts, for what breaks yours, equip & empower us as mighty women of God, daughters and heirs to the King to stand up and boldly say - not on my watch!

What lies beneath...

By Donna Finney

As you read this you will quickly deduce that I am no literary scholar or poet laureate…but I hope you will see that I am simply a mum, sister, daughter, aunt, cousin, friend, work colleague.

You may wonder why I say this. It's not said in the hope of hearing your kind words or nods of agreement, but to ask you to stop and think, even for just a moment, about what lies beneath.

To think about what is really going on in your life away from the glare of the public, away from the office, away from the school gates, away from your coffee shop nattering!?

In the past I have often looked at people and sometimes admired them, maybe even criticised them...or worse, I judged them ...without knowing what was really going on in their lives.

There was a time in my life if the truth had got out in fact, my life was far from perfect! Whilst I had the appearance of someone who 'had it all', money in the bank, nice car, an executive job and a perfect home life...the reality was Donna was actually a lonely girl, insecure, suffering from depression and searching for a way out of an unhappy marriage. I had a one-sided relationship with God (on my terms only) so my life choices often revolved around me!!

Press the forward button on 10 years :  now a divorcee, mum to a beautiful daughter, successful career but still missing something. Still searching for that illusive two-way relationship with God...oh and a lovely husband!

I thought that was to be my story: the black sheep, the divorcee, single mum struggling to serve Jesus!

What I hadn't accounted for was meeting the love of my life in my late 30s, who would come into my workplace one day and almost literally sweep me off my feet! I hadn't accounted for the fact that he would love my daughter as his own and accept the 2 of us, baggage included.

So you might think the story ends there and we just live happily ever after...it would have been a cute story but I still hadn't accounted for the biggest change of all, God invading my life!

Having married the love of my life, my beautiful daughter at University, I was enjoying life. Then my hubby and I started to attend Causeway Coast Vineyard Church where I was re-introduced to Jesus! I had come into a safe physical environment but not only that, I realised I was in a safe holy place. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t have some blinding flash of light or epiphany, just a journey into discovering who I was as a daughter of a King. Talk about discovering what lay beneath!

I have been on this journey of ‘self discovery’ – not like a self-help book type of discovery – but rather one where I found myself being able to be me and knowing who I am in the eyes of God.! No mask, no pretence, just me and my heavenly Father.

Am I happy I hear you ask? I am so, so happy. Don’t get me wrong it’s not because bad things don’t enter my life, but rather I am happy because I have the joy of knowing Jesus personally so when something bad does enter my life, I can choose if it stays there. For me, having that intimacy with my Father in Heaven changes who I am and how I live my life. How generous a God we have who loves to hear from us and he creates a place where someone like me who has a past, can have a future.

So as I said at the beginning, I will win no awards for the literary content of my writing, but maybe it will help us to take a step back and consider what lies beneath a person’s façade, dare I say your own façade. Just be you, how God designed you…

Overcome

By Donna Dickson

John 16:33 NIV
'I have told you these things, so that in me you have PEACE. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have OVERCOME the world!'

When I was first asked to write a blog, besides wanting to scream "NO!," I felt as if God put the word "OVERCOME" foremost in my thoughts. So even with immediate thoughts of the usual self doubt, not being good enough, "Who would want to read what you write?," "You'll make a fool of yourself," (the enemy again!) I knew God (and Tori) had given me a challenge that I had to face up to and a chance to Overcome another hurdle (a metaphorical one of course lol!).

I have suffered from various forms of depression most of my adult life and during this time I flatlined, feeling nothing, neither intense joy or immense sorrow. It is like being the waking dead doing all that is required to survive with life passing me by on a daily basis. 

Now don't feel sorry for me, I did try to live overindulging in food, shopping, partying, etc... all hollow, unrewarding pastimes giving no emotional value or help. These activities did not fill the gaping void in my life, nor did they elevate the emptiness.

During this time I was overcome with fear of failure, "I'm not good enough or worthy", self loathing, and condemnation. There really was no light at the end of my tunnel. 

I'm not trying to gain sympathy nor am I complaining about my lot. I did know there was another way of life. I had followed that path briefly as a teenager, but had roamed thinking I would find more on the other side of the road.

This is where I want you to understand the real meaning of OVERCOME: to gain victory; to conquer/defeat the enemy; to get the better of in a struggle; to prevail over.

As Jesus told us in John 1:5 (NIV) 

'The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.'

God gradually drew me back to Him, and last year I gave my life to Him completely, utterly and forever! He has helped me and is helpng me OVERCOME the enemy on a daily basis. He has poured so much light into my dark life.  I only want to shine for Him, shout His name from the rooftops!

I am now OVERCOME on a daily basis with thankfulness, happiness and most importantly why He sent His Only Son for us,  LIFE and life to the full! The strangest sensation is feeling emotion: I cry at everything; I smile; I can stand up for myself; I want to live, but most of all I live to do His will. 

Accepting Jesus as My Saviour has transformed my life and if He can heal me and create such a transformation in me, an "insignificant, wee, middle-aged, overweight Northern Ireland woman," He can do it for everyone.

He can OVERCOME your problems, illnesses and create new lives. This is not what I ever imagined I'd be doing, but with Him I have OVERCOME and I will continue to do so for as long as He wants me to.

So to all you beautiful daughters of the King reading this may you all strive to OVERCOME your hurdles in life with Christ at your side.

If I can do it anyone can! 

Donna xx

So God, what do you REALLY think of me?

By Mandy Forgrave 

How many times have we said that we knew that God loved us but have never really felt that He did? We knew all the stuff in our heads but never really felt it in our hearts . We read all the affirming and encouraging things in the Bible about God pursuing us and singing over us and being the apple of His eye, and yet at times we felt like He had left us and that we certainly weren't the apple of His eye and this singing malarkey, yeah right!

How many times have we believed the lie of the enemy; how many times have we felt not worthy, not good enough, not able enough, not loved enough? You see, the truth of the matter is, we are worthy, we are good enough, we are able and we are certainly loved.

I used to believe all of those negative things about myself, I used to believe that God only loved me because  that was His job, that's what God does, " He loves people". I knew it in my head but I never felt it in my heart. I believed the lie of the enemy, I believed that I wasn't good enough.   I always felt like the one in the crowd that people were left with  or as we say "landed" with. I never felt like I was anyone's first choice. I felt I was always in the way. I always felt people felt obliged to invite me places and if I went, I always felt out of place and awkward, never feeling like I fit in, never feeling good enough.

Anyone  who knows me knows that I like to chat! I can't help it, it's automatic! I even believed the enemy's lie that this was my downfall: that I talked too much, that people were fed up listening to me, that people would start to avoid me, that no one wanted me in their company. Sure who would want me? I am nobody's choice. I am the one people are left with. 

I had the belief that God was indeed my Heavenly Father, but I believed He was beyond my reach... living away up there, somewhere in the sky, way above me... insignificant me. I had a "head" knowledge of God's love for me, but I had no "heart" knowledge of that love. 

I always believed what I read in the Bible . I am a very literal person. If it says it, then I believe it. On the down side of that, if I got something into my head, even a lie from the enemy, I would believe that too. Some of my friends would maybe have described me as gullible!! Believing the lies but ignoring the truth.

I always believed that God was the same yesterday today and tomorrow and that He never moved. He never changed.  He was always there, yet why did I never have that close personal connection that others seemed to have?  How come I couldn't feel His closeness to me? What was blocking that?

About a year and a half ago, I went to Dublin to be trained in a ministry called Sozo and also have a session myself.  Basically, during a session, God reveals any hindrances that are keeping us from having an intimate personal relationship with the Godhead, which is, Father God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit. God reveals the lies that we have believed about Him and also about ourselves and He reveals those people who we need to forgive. All these things prevent us from coming into the fullness of who we are in Christ and these things distort our view of God and even of ourselves. Its almost like God clearing away the clutter or pulling the plug and draining away the stagnant waters that have kept us from receiving the fullness of His love  and actually believing it. God replaces the lies with truth, His truth. When you hear it from God and you actually believe it, the difference it makes is totally unbelievable! Pardon the pun! Especially when we are talking about believing and not believing! But you get what I mean!!

I no longer believe that God is just my Heavenly Father who is away up there somewhere. I now know and firmly believe that God is my Daddy who is right beside me . I feel His love in my heart. I know He sings over me. I know that I am the apple of His eye. I know that He chose me, In fact, He singled me out. I was in His thoughts even before I was born. I know that He delights in me . I know that I am His pride and joy. I know that His face is always turned towards me. I know that I am His and He is mine and I know that my Daddy loves me, I can feel it, He tells me and He shows me .  

My heart knowledge has caught up with my head knowledge,that is what has made the difference. 

As I said earlier, I like to talk, I used to believe that it was a hindrance, but now I believe it is a gift. The gift of the Gab! I use this gift to tell others what God really thinks of them, not just what they believe or even the lie that they believe, but the truth, Gods truth.  I use this gift to speak into the lives of those who need to hear how precious they are, how amazing they are and how much God loves them  because that is the TRUTH.