Nurture

By Abi Patterson

I'm laughing at myself as I write this. To say "I'm not a Hallmark kind of a girl" would be an understatement. In fact, to read the verses in cards in the shop can be a source of bewilderment to me. Probability is I'll buy a blank card and write something that sums up my feelings for the person in question - it won't rhyme and maybe it doesn't gush but it's me. And increasingly I'm happy with that. 

I've learned over the years what love languages speak to my heart, to my husband's and to each of my kids. In my case, it's 'doing' - make me a cup of tea or put up a shelf for me and I'm gushy then!! Aren't we funny us people? (Incidentally, if you've never worked out the love languages of your nearest and dearest do it ASAP as it changes your communication so beautifully forever.)

My thirties has so far been a season of learning more about what makes me me. I guess up to then I thought everybody did what I did and could do what I could do. It's like as I get a little older the truth is becoming clearer where 'me' is concerned. It's lovely to finally get to be happy with the skin I'm in and stop striving, hiding or stressing. 

Six months ago I asked God what freedom looks like and since then He's been freeing me from all kinds of misconceptions I've had- most of them about me, religion and what abundant life looks like with Him. 
I started out adult life headed for career heights. I was an A type achiever driving to succeed in the world of marketing and PR. That was the dream. The story is a long one but suffice to say I met a wonderful man and had three amazing children and the process of these years has changed my journey beyond recognition. The reason I tell you this backstory will become clear....stick with me...

I have learned that I have what I can now diagnose as a gift of nurture. It surprised me when I had my kids and it's stuck about ever since. If I'm honest I thought nurture was just a gift for child rearing but I'm learning I was wrong. It surprises me the places I see my nurturing delight sparkle
...I see it when I help yeast rise to make bread, the childlike joy I experience when seeds spring forth from the soil, the joy of kindling growing friendships in my life, the delight of seeing faith grow in me and in those around me. Nurture.

I misunderstood that nurture is not a child rearing gift but rather a heart that delights in growth and especially in the growth and expanse of others.

That my gift does not lie dormant because I have no babies in my home, or my nest is empty or children haven't arrived yet. Nurture can be nurtured across your life. In many ways a nurturer is like an attentive gardener, you just have to decide what garden you are seeking to grow. For you this could be discipling those younger in their faith, it could be befriending those you see in need of friendship, it could be so many things and you need to follow your heartbeat and follow Gods lead to find out ...what is your 'garden'? 

For me this past few years has seen a yearning grow that has stunned me in its passion. You see as I've begun to expose my heart to the world of fostering and adoption - by reading, meeting people and seeking to know more- God has expanded my heart for children in need of loving homes so much it aches. I get all fired up when I start talking about children who haven't had a fair deal in life. Children who have experienced less than a loving home, first years full of hugs, giggles and delight. My husband and I and our 3 biological children are on a journey now seeking to adopt. 

We love adoption and are passionate advocates for the Home for Good campaign which is asking us all to use our home for good for the children who need us (www.homeforgood.org.uk). I dream that one day our daughter will be home with us and her life will be full of the love and care that every child deserves. But God takes me deeper still - I dream and I pray that every child in our city, in our nation gets a home for good. That no child has to go to bed hungry, that no child will spend even a day unhugged, unloved. That one day the word 'orphan' will be spoken of in the past tense and confined to history. 

The dream looks big and I haven't quite got a plan but
I don't need one. I've got Jesus and I've got a fire in my belly that dwarfs any dream I held as the younger career-focused me. 
So you see as I sat down to write our blog for Mother's Day I was keenly aware that this is a day when many of us feel our loss while others celebrate. I wanted to share with you that mothering isn't defined biologically and it isn't only parenting. You have in you the capacity and the power to nurture where you put your hand. And that to me is immensely exciting. I love to think of the tidal wave of growth that we as women can unleash on our city when we set our hearts to intentionally nurture and dangerously step where Jesus leads. There is nowhere safe when we awake to the power we have as women to bless and grow what we put our hand to. 

So let's make a pact to be dangerous - are you in?

(If you are interested in learning more about fostering or adoption I will be delighted to chat with you. I also have 10 copies of the 'home for good' book for loan - an excellent place to start your journey into Gods heart for orphans abipatterson@hotmail.com)