Battlefield of the mind

By Carolyn Young

All praise to our God and Father of our master Jesus the Messiah. Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort-we get a full measure of that too. ( 2 cor 1:3-5) 

I wasn't sure what I needed to share writing this blog..but our Father knows all our needs so here goes..this is what I felt He told me to write..

Our minds are like a battlefield, everything starts with a thought and so on. With the word of God we can rest assured that His word is pure, it's wonderful, it's truth and it's powerful.

There was a time in my life when I struggled to know what I was here on earth for! What was i doing here?

Growing up was far from normal, it was turbulent and there was a lot of drama, but that I guess became normal to me. I can't remember there being many happy family moments that I would want to share with others but neither did I want to share about how disfunctional things felt for me either.  As time went on I grew overwhelmed with disappointment and discouragement.  I hid the fact that I was disatisfied because everyone around me seemed ok with it so I believed it would pass.
 
Thankfully I met with The Lord and He rescued me.  God totally transformed me physically and mentally and I believe  it was a miracle. Today I stand in the glory of His loving arms: the victory I finally conquered through Him because He won't be shaken.

Trying to keep it brief I want to highlight how awesome God really is.  He brought me to a place where I am now alive.  He rescued me from a place of anxiety and fear. He opened my heart and helped me to trust again and most of all He filled me with love and a sound mind.  God healed my body when I was sick. He healed my scars. He renewed my mind; He comforted me when I was isolated; He listened when I was screaming; He restored my heart; He forgave me, and He gave me strength when I couldn't go on.  He helped me to forgive when I didn't want to.  He gave me confidence and He made me beautiful.  What the enemy stole from me at a young age, God gave it all back and even more, and He still hasn't finished yet.  If He can do that for me then He will do it for you. I am an overcomer because of Him.

How does it really feel to be the victim all the time?
Firstly to be the victim,
Then feel like the victim,
and then always be treated as a victim! 

With Jesus there  is hope to break these chains. Today there are so many labels that we all become attached too.   Labels that aren't truth but lies! Whatever it is it can be broken with the love of the Father and His love never fails.
So how does the rest of the world react to this when the enemy is defeated? I mean, how do you walk  consistently and confidently upright away from your past! It might be hard but i can do ALL things with him who strengthens me. (Phil 4v13)

That was me in my early years of becoming a Christian. I had taken the step to change but everything around me was staying the same! I had given my life over but I wasn't walking in freedom every day.  I was a Christian but I wasn't perfect and that is okay, but the choice is always much easier to go backwards instead of forwards.  But in God's strength he can do immeasurable things when we are hungry and ready to accept Him. I needed guidance; I needed wisdom;  I needed protection, but most of all I needed a place where I would just be accepted. God fulfilled all those desires.  I was now a new me, the princess that I always was, the daughter that so desperately just wanted to shine by just being herself. The overcomer, the purpose driven character that had passion in her heart to live for Him.

I became a Christian at the age of 24 ( I am now 30) .  Before that I was wrestling with life and myself..and I was wasting away. I had anorexia/bulimia for many many years..a terrifying eating disorder that controlled my life in every way and near killed me.  It was a battle in my mind and the enemy was having a field day.  I hated my reflection in the mirror, and so sad to say, I tried to end my life many times because of those distorted lies from the bondage of body dismorphia.

I was a person that seemed like she was failing everything she ever started, a person that felt disappointed and was always in the way.  I was completely dead inside and the mask I wore was just so exhausting that if I was going to survive, it was going to have to come off!  From the outside it looked like I had everything to live for:  I was a perfectionist and I held it together for so long until I collapsed into a very dark place of destruction before I knew about the Jesus that saved me. What was I doing before I ever met with him?

How could my Father God love me and accept me the way I was?  I struggled trying to work that out and that his grace is enough! 

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in my weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christs power may rest on me. That is why for Christs sake I delight in weaknesses in insults in hardships in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.(2Cor12v9-10 ) 

It had been a painful time for me, a vicious cycle of hell, but today I am separated from that person I used to be.  I am now the beautiful woman God so carefully handcrafted me to be. Not only do I believe I carry beauty within, but I believe it is reflected in my beauty outside which God uses to lead life to others. Oh how that gentleness of love and affection makes people feel wonderful.

I was screaming inside to be heard but never had a voice.  I feel Satan stole my voice and God gave it back, and I use it more powerfully now.  Today I just love sharing what Jesus has done for me, and how He lives inside me, and how He set me free. God knows my heart.  He knows the pain that I carried.  He sees; He hears and He dealt with the despair I so desperately went through growing  up.  He cares, He loves, and He carried my burden and yours.  He helps me to forgive the people that hurt me.  He forgives my flaws too, and that means I must forgive myseIf! He is so generous with His love because He wants the best for me so I can only want to be more like Him. 

He is beautiful.  He is peace.  He is calm in the storm. He is gentle. He is different.  He is mighty.

You see...darkness hates the light, and light overcomes darkness.  Satan has no power over me. He is a liar and a thief.

For all those precious girls who are starved with the pain from their past,  please reach out to Jesus who takes all that shame away! For the ones that were robbed of their innocence and for those who carry those horrible thoughts in life that just overwhelm us with worry... For all those that wanted life to end and believed that they were a mistake..I understand and I encourage you to take captive those thoughts right now in the name of Jesus. I am a testimony of what freedom looks like and I choose Jesus everyday and stand on His promises of truth! Let me tell you that God uses it all. 

He transformed my mess into massive plans.  I know I have power when I use my voice to speak His words of affirmation about how He sees me.  God will use you too. He can turn everything around for the good.  

Running from a past is very exhausting. I was so terrified of being vunerable. Even though I hated my flesh I was so afraid of loosing control.  I surrendered all to Him because 
freedom tastes so good!

Trust me and trust Him..because there is rest in our Heavenly Father.

I love to worship God. Sometimes  I find myself just standing there weeping with joy because of how He has carried me to a place of love and security. I just close my eyes so not to be distracted and imagine how beautiful it is to be with Jesus in a place of peace. I am so proud to be His and so grateful to be where I am right now... not looking to where I want to be. That is called being content..saying I trust you, I love you, and I need you...