My Roots Are Showing

By Shirley Rogers

I enjoy the programme 'Who do you think you are?' One of my favourite episodes was when the comedian and presenter of Pointless, Alexander Armstrong, not only found various lords and ladies, dukes and earls in his family tree but traced his roots right back to King William 1, better known as William the Conqueror.

It gave me a lightbulb moment!! Father God used the highlight of this programme to highlight that I have Royal roots too. I'm a daughter of the King of Kings!! But it's one thing to know something in your head as information and quite another to live life with that knowledge at the core of your being.  I've been on such a 'head to heart' journey over the past year.

For many years I've been known as "Andy's wife", "Leigh-Ann and Zoe's mum", "my Spanish teacher", "my small group leader" etc but mainly my sense of who I was came from what I did and the more I did, the better I felt about myself.

In March 2012, I was diagnosed with Post Viral Fatigue. I had been struggling with ill health all winter but tried to keep going in my own strength until one day I just came to a very abrupt halt. I couldn't work so no job meant no income. I couldn't go to small group or church so I felt cut off from community. I loved walking every day and enjoyed climbing in the Mournes but now I could hardly climb the stairs!! I like being outdoors but was stuck indoors, mostly in bed. I went from seeing about 900 people a week to seeing less than 9. Life felt very different and very, very difficult.

Although there was many a day I groaned about this journey, I can now see how much I have grown and I'm so grateful for all I have learned. Many a morning I listened to the words,

"Great is Thy faithfulness!" "Great is Thy faithfulness!"

  Morning by morning new mercies I see;

All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—

    “Great is Thy faithfulness,” Lord, unto me!

and repeated over and over and over "Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow".

Deep down I knew that even if I was instantly healed and could have returned immediately to work and walking, to community and church, it wouldn't be enough! I needed more in my life. I needed to know God's love for me in the depth of my heart rather than just in my head. When I find out who He is, I find out who I am. And through His Word, the words of friends, books and podcasts, He has shown me so much about His love. There is nothing I can do to make God love me more and there is nothing I can do to make Him love me less. Having to spend my day  in bed made me realise how much he loved me when I couldn't 'do' and I just had to 'be'.

Our girls grew up in Narnia. They loved hearing the stories of Susan the gentle, Lucy the valiant, Edmund the just and Peter the magnificent. Oh for a name like that! I felt more like Shirley the fearful, the worrier, the control freak, the approval seeker, the impoverished orphan ... But this year as I've found out more about who He is, I've found out more about who I am and I've heard Him call me by my real name - Shirley, "the much loved child". This is my default setting. It overrides all those other names.

There's so much I could write about the past year but one of the highlights was the opportunity and privilege to do Encounter and learn more about my royal identity. "My child you are unique. Designed to express love perfectly to those in your sphere of influence." As I was writing this blog, I had an 'encounter' on my doorstep and got to pray for my window cleaner's brother who has MS. I love that wherever I am, He is already there and I get to do what I see my Father doing. I get to partner with Him to release His goodness and as Bill Johnson writes "every time we pray for someone, His glory is released into the atmosphere".

For once in my life, I'm glad 'my roots are showing'!! Are yours?