Being A Mum in a Man's World

By Rose Lynas

Being a mum is considered one of life's greatest privileges, theoretically at least. Everyone is quick to congratulate, words tripping off the tongue. These thoughtless words are only the beginning; many more will follow.

I approached impending motherhood like I did much else - with careful planning and consequential calm. I had surmounted various challenges in life, a high achiever in diverse fields. I had learnt to hold my own, a determined female charting a path through male terrain. It was precisely this mindset that was to be my downfall.

Genesis warns us that family life will be difficult. Relationships have been fundamentally broken. God accurately described the impact of this brokenness.

Having robustly dismissed the false notion that I am cursed because I am female, I was ready to welcome our daughter into the world, excited that God had entrusted us with such a precious charge.

What I wasn't expecting was to bump into my brokenness with such force. Our daughter was weeks old when I discovered that I had been playing the game, the male game for so long. In my new world these rules simply did not apply. Dismissed from the game I was lost.

Frustration flourished in a potent mix of isolation and lack of productivity, fuelled by tiredness. This was the true pain of childbirth. Within the fog glimpses of a reality beyond reality led the way to my epiphany. Unquestioning, I had accepted the rules, competing rather than challenging the false premise upon which they had been created. I was always set to loose; it was only a matter of time.

I looked back at my life. My self- worth was bound up in my achievements, assessed by their contribution to, and ability to fit into, the system; that wheel that must keep turning for fear that our humanity be exposed. Within such a grid how was a mum to fit? The ends could be plotted easily; it was the means, our daily life that was the problem.


As a baby Jesus entered the world. His existence as a vulnerable, dependant infant spoke truth to power, and power trembled. His purpose - to expose the sham structures of the world by being something entirely other. In the words of His mother, "let it be unto me as You have said." This is the challenge to every mum, every person yearning for another way. It is difficult to see, let alone accept this as a valid alternative when you are within the power structures, when you fit, when your self-worth is continuously massaged, your thinking and questioning self lulled to sleep, deeper and deeper with each turn of the wheel.  

We are not meant to see such truth. We facilitate this deadly deception by active participation in, or passive assent to, prescribed values, priorities and practices, so sure of ourselves and our abilities. We have traded our most precious gift, time, at market value. 

 Change takes time. With baby steps I am growing into an understanding of my Sacred call, caring less about whether my contribution is valued or even noticed. I know that the imperceptible ripple effect of our days can change the world, one gasping for a sip of the wonder and trust that our daughter has in abundance. 

This is not about stay-at-home mums versus their working sisters. All struggle to be taken seriously unless they play by the rules, as real in the office as toddler groups. Who is willing, free or suitably daring to make their choices, to challenge the norm, to be a salvation carrier? In what do we find our self-worth, have we relinquished control? Freedom, it seems, is the last thing we really want. 

Jesus invites us to, "come and see," to put to death all that controls us, to embrace His freedom simply to be, having faith in the strength and wisdom of such vulnerability. 
I am not a mum in a man’s world, but a valued, free human being in God’s world, in which there is no glass ceiling.