Let it go

By Ali Knight

One of my favourite things to do is go to the cinema with our gorgeous 8 year old daughter Kimi.  I love kid's movies and any excuse to laugh like a child again.  One of our favourite family movies is the superb Disney movie "Frozen." My favourite song in the movie is entitled "Let it go." This song although aimed at children, has such a strong message to us as adults, particularly the line "let it go ....the past is in the past."

How often do we hold on to things from our past or indeed  in our present that we need to let go of in order to be living more freely? Now that I am nearly reaching the grand "young" age of 41, I feel so much of my life to date has been learning more and more the importance of letting go of the things robbing me of freedom. I would love to give you a little glimpse into my journey, as I so long for others to find the freedom I've found, because I can say with all my heart that after many many years of struggling and wrestling with myself, I finally feel like a captive set free who's free to be me.

I don't want this blog to focus on the past but on what God has been teaching me about healthy choices that have helped me move on from all that robs me of the freedom He longs for me and you to have.  I'm challenging myself to sum up my past in a few sentences. Those who know me well know this is a major challenge for me as I can never text or email less than an essay!!!! 

Here goes....

Brought up in the most loving, secure, happy home; Full of joy childhood apart from a difficult incident that led to some healing to be done in later life; Teens, developed chronic fatigue (ME) struggled with people pleasing and developed approval addict tendencies; Could'nt say "NO;"  Twenties fought depression; on anti-depressants a little while; Struggled with loving myself and sought affirmation in all the wrong ways; Spent so much time burnt out, stressed out and feeling anxious; In early thirties felt robbed of enjoying the incredible husband and gorgeous daughter I have for all reasons mentioned above. 

It wasn't all gloom and doom!!! There were many many happy times in the midst of each of these stages but I never felt truly free.

I hadn't grasped the "who I was in Jesus."  Then things started to turn around when I looked to Jesus not others to be my shelter, refuge and resting place. I had tried to find my security in people-pleasing when actually I needed to look to God. 

I realised that there will be times that I disappoint others by saying "no" but that's ok.   In life we can't please everyone all of the time BUT He, Father God, loves us no matter what!!!

This is shared in a context of "I have not got it sorted, but I'm on a journey."  What I do know is making the following choices, even on my darkest days has brought me the freedom I longed for.  I am still learning and growing, embracing the fact that choices don't just happen, but take practice over and over.  I am so deeply thankful to the friends and family who have pointed me to the right choices, loved and encouraged me as I've made those choices (which haven't always been easy) and then have stuck with me as I've journeyed the "ups" and "downs" of the process of choices.

So what's helped ? 

Choosing to know who I am in Jesus and what I carry in Jesus.....living loved by HIM

Choosing to be real with God and others - others can journey with us but they can't fix us!!!! Keep it so real with God, He is big enough to carry anything we bring to HIM.

Choosing not to compare- DON'T compare.com 
He made you and me to be exactly that, you and me. Be free to be the you He created you to be!!

Choosing to say "Yes" out of a place of knowing what I'm saying "yes" to is right, rather than out of a place of people- pleasing

Choosing Hope - On the days I don't FEEL hope, choosing to hold on to the truth of knowing there is hope in Jesus, until the feeling of hope returns

Choosing not to stay stuck and seeking to break free until I do

Choosing to move out from the shadow of shame, nothing and no one is beyond God's mercy and grace.....we are always good enough in HIS eyes. Romans 8 vs 1,2, 15,16 (the Message)

Choosing to leave my baggage with God. Before David fought Goliath he handed over his baggage to the baggage keeper. 1 Samuel 17 vs 22

Choosing to let go of worry and always trust God is in control

Choosing to not always have an explanation - When Gideon faced adversity God didn't give an explanation but an affirmation of truth -  "Go in strength..." Judges 6 vs 13-14

Choosing laughter - even on your darkest days choose to spend time with the joy givers who cultivate JOY in you.

Choosing to reach out to others in our pain - I have found such deep release and freedom when I've chosen to let the unthinkables that have happened in my life become the redeemables that bring life in helping others. This hasn't been easy and has been the hardest choice of all, BUT choosing to keep reaching out to others, in His strength, has brought more healing, freedom and joy than I ever imagined possible.

What is the Lord gently whispering to you and me to choose and let go of?  Freedom is waiting for us all in a way that is always beyond what we imagine possible.

The Lord longs to 

“Bestow upon you a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair......you will be called oaks of righteousness a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendour” Isaiah 61 

Let it go, the past is in the past!!!!!