Who I Am

By Sandra Millican

 

I grew up in a dysfunctional family (like a lot of people!!) I did not know who my father was and until the age of ten I was raised by strangers and only saw my mother from time to time. From the age of ten to the age of twenty I lived on and off with my mother and grand-parents and spent a lot of my time in boarding schools. Why am I telling you all this… well it explains where I come from, but thank goodness, not who I am.

When I came to faith I really struggled with the "Heavenly Father" concept of God, the only reference I had for a father figure was how my grandfather related to my mother and me which was with authority, criticism, not apparent love and no encouragement.

I realise now that it did affect how I related to my Heavenly Father but thankfully He is so wonderful and so patient that He gently guided me to the place I needed to be.

This past year has been life changing, it has been painful at times but ultimately amazing. Even after so many years as a believer I still believed the lies that were spoken over me when I was growing up, lies that I was not good enough, that I was not really worth loving, that I should be grateful for whatever I was given. That to be me was definitely not a good thing and so on…

I attended the "Capacity" day at CCV, and at the end I was prayed for by a wonderful lady who asked Father God to give me a new picture which He did...

and what I saw in my mind was a male figure holding a baby girl and smiling over her, and guess what…. the little girl was ME!!! 

For the first time I realised that I was His daughter and that He was pleased with ME?! This was such an amazing revelation and I started to understand how God saw me.

I started to think that He might actually love me!!!

This would have been enough for me but the story does not end there, a few months later I went for a SOZO prayer ministry session and O MY WORD it was mind blowing!!!

I was able to see the lies that were spoken over me in the past for what they were: LIES.  And I was also able to replace them by the Truth that God constantly speaks over me, I am His daughter and He is pleased with me.

Finally I know that I am loved and I am accepted!

Who I am…. I am the Daugher of a King, I am the Righteousness of God in Christ, I am Sandra and it is good enough for me!