Woodworm

By Colleen McSorely

I moved house a few weeks ago... In the process of picking new paint colours I decided I needed ( clearly a life or death matter) a dressing table. I had my heart set on something beautiful and filled with old character, it was proving more difficult to find than I thought!  I can tell you now- i'm spoilt. When we arrived on moving day we discovered the most beautiful vintage dressing table that had been left behind for us. My heavenly Father has a habit of embarrassingly spoiling me & answering my smallest what feel like insignificant wishes!

So, back to my beautiful old dressing table... As if moving house wasn't enough me and my dad took to restoring my new treasure. It wasn't long into our work that we discovered some of those dreaded holes... on close inspection we realised this beautiful piece of furniture had a run in with woodworms at one time.. eww! Much to my relief they had long evacuated the premises!! Much to my naivety I asked Dad if woodworm was really that big of a deal, to which he replied "only when the holes join up and there's no wood left"... Oops, I guess woodworm really is a big deal!

As I was standing there looking at this beautiful 'dimpled' wood it hit me- we all have our own version of wood worm. I like to call it our choices... yep, I went there! It hit me that a worm so tiny could make such a hole in something so big and strong. A lot like our small choices, the small choices to honour even when it hurts, to deal with insecurities as they arise- even if it's awkward and painful. The choice to worship in every circumstance. The choices to forgive & trust God with all we are! When we don't make the small healthy choices daily it opens us up to the small worms that eat away at who we are & even what God has for us! I was never designed to be 'dimpled'.

Ask any of the young guys I get to lead, they'll tell you I use the 'Choice' word quite a bit... I believe that our choices, the small and the big are incredible powerful! It was that much clearer to me as I stood there restoring my beautiful dresser with my dad, it's safe to say that my relationship with my dad wouldn't be what it is today without the small good choices I made in my heart and life! I can tell you that sometimes the only way we can make those choices is by asking our incredible heavenly Father to help us make them! His strength, wisdom & grace leads the way!

The beauty of the restoration process is that those potentially damaging holes are no longer there, Jesus is more than big enough to fill them- i'm so glad! In the end we're a lot like my dresser... beautiful, restored & filled with character... we just need to make sure no woodworm creeps back in!

( Here's a little photo of my beautiful restored dresser- hole free!!)

“She thought she could so she did” Dreaming Big

By Louise Hobson

I have always been a bit of a romantic idealist; I’m a rose tinted glasses kind of girl. When it comes to dreaming I often have my head in the clouds. Realists would tell you that that is not where God would have your head in these matters, but I believe that God wants us to have our head in the clouds while having our feet firmly grounded. God has taken me on a journey showing me both are attainable.

I absolutely love the unadulterated innocence of a child’s response when you ask them what their dreams are. They are always so outrageous. Whether it’s what they want to be when they grow up or something that they would love to do, they have no limitations and simply no concept of fear, failure, obstacles or anything that stands in their way! It’s the simplicity of belief. We are to become like them, like little children, with not so little dreams. Wouldn’t it be great to have the mind of a child when it comes to our dreams?

I've still got some of the dreams I've had since I was a little girl and others God has placed on my heart more recently. I have always thought that the desires God gave me would be realised immediately, that those things I held onto in my heart would come to life in an instance. However, it has been my realisation that it doesn't always work like that. Often the dreams that lie in our heart take time to be fulfilled, this can take years. It can take its tole, it may require more from you that you initially dreamt up, it may take sacrifice, it may be a long road to the end goal, but God is faithful to fulfil his promises. I still believe my dreams are realities but I now see that there are processes I have to go through to increase my capacity to fulfil them. God wants to take us on a journey that isn't about lowering our expectations but about increasing our ability to sustain the reality of our dreams. 

I’ve been reading a book recently; ‘The Presence, Power and Heart of God’. There’s a section about prayer ministry, saying that

“Usually, when people come up for prayer ministry, God wants either to bring them closer to Himself (or to salvation), heal them deeply, or empower them (filling them, equipping them and/or speaking to their dreams and visions)." 

You see, God is passionate about our dreams; the ones that lie dormant and the ones that have already sprung to life. He is passionate about us pursuing our dreams. He is a limitless God that wants his children to have limitless minds, minds that understand that dreams are reachable and realistic; not idealistic fancy. He is the God that flung stars into space, the God that created the human race out of dust, the God that made a way for humanity back to himself, the God that raised Jesus from the dead. 

He had a dream; to live in relationship with us, and he moved all of heaven and earth to make it happen. As I’ve learnt,nothing ‘just happens’. Movement, determination and effort are required. A dream is a nice idea so long as it stays out there, but God calls us to grab a hold of our dreams and see them through. I wonder what dream is in your heart? 

For the dream that lies in waiting; God wants to awaken that and set it into motion. But He also wants you to partner with him to see it fulfilled.

I have found that for the Dreamers, those that find it second nature to dream big dreams- we need an understanding of what makes our dreams a reality, we need determination and a hard work ethic to see our dreams through.

For those that find it more difficult to dream big - give those dreams to God and watch Him increase them beyond what you would have imagined.

So whatever your dream capacity is, we can always look to Him as our example; To dream with the faith of a child, to go after those dreams with a will that does not relent, to call out the dreams in others and ultimately to trust the author and creator of our hearts and our dreams with it all. 

Authentic Identity

By Hannah Lynas

I've been struck again by the challenging and stark reminder of what it is to be authentic in my own skin. What it looks like to be truly me. To know who I am and what I’m created to be. I'm energized and inspired when I'm around truthful, free people, who speak with their own mind.

I was reminded of this at a conference recently where the stage was filled with incredibly dynamic, self-assured individuals. I listened to each of them with a sense of awe at their eloquence, boldness and distinct connectedness to themselves. They exuded Authenticity (a particular way of dealing with the external world, while remaining faithful to internal rather than external ideas.)  And in that moment I wanted to be a little bit like each of them. How ironic, I was drawn to their trueness in themselves and in the same instant wanted to forfeit my own.

I'm trying to learn to be influenced without being comprised.

To be assertive while maintaining integrity.

To enjoy in moderation without becoming extreme. 

To be organized and efficient without becoming inflexible and losing spontaneity. 

To recognize that a healthy body and lifestyle can't be at the expense of an unhealthy mind. 

I've been trying to keep myself in check, to restock and look at the person I am today without forgetting the person I was yesterday and evaluating the person I want to be tomorrow.

As I write this it sounds exhausting and introspective and impossible and too intentional. I'm not advocating this kind of intensity all the time, but it's important to evaluate where each of us are and what environmental factors have been shaping us, what aspect of ourselves are we holding on to and what other things are unfolding and crafting who we are. 

We are constantly evolving beings, life does not stand still. We grow and learn in wisdom and foolishness; we simplify and complicate our understanding of the world, the people in it and ourselves.  We need to embrace change but keep change in check.  Because before long we can drift and alter and wear all the colours of the world around us and become a shadow of whom we really are.

I'm learning that I need to reconnect with the Hannahness inside of me; I need to dust off some the external influences to reveal my true skin. 

I need to be reminded that my opinion matters that my perspective is unique. 

That I am at my best when I am truly me.  

I'm not striving for perfection or balance and I'm not always going to get it right. And I need to learn again the value in simply 'being'. 

But who knows on this quest for authentic identity I may just inspire/release others into 'being like me' and in turn reconnect with their true self!

The Masterpiece

By Katie Milburn

I love art! I enjoy all forms of it. And like any love, there is growth from where it started to where it’s going to end up.

When I was a child, the moment it was time for art, I was so excited. I could have been at school, at church, or at a friend’s house, my materials could have been pipe-cleaners, paint, chalk or clay—if I was allowed to get messy with anything at anytime I was ecstatic. My favourite thing was melting crayon shavings between two sheets of wax paper to make a “stained glass window.” These masterpieces, I would carry home to my parents and they’d get their time on the refrigerator door or bulletin board and eventually they’d come down. When they came down most often I didn’t know where they’d go.

My dad had his office that was a black hole. We avoided it because we weren’t sure if we went in that we’d come out of it again. But one day I ventured in, snooped around a bit, and was shocked to find artwork I had created years before. Not only my work, by my sibling’s as well. If found things that I know for certain I had thrown into the garbage bin because I wasn’t proud of it, or thought it had lost it’s value. The work that had been tossed away by me had made it back out via my father’s digging hands. He responded that he was proud of the work we did and he wanted to remember how we’d changed over time. I thought he was too sentimental.

At age fifteen, I painted a picture of three angels and a bible verse on a piece of slate with a leather cord for hanging. Again, I carried it home to my mom. That week it was hung next to the front door, and fifteen years later I cringe when I walk through the door because it is still the first thing I see. No matter the amount of my begging and pleading to remove this art that I find subpar, my mother refuses. She still loves it and she says it reminds her of me in my absence and it reminds her to welcome guests as angels. The verse is Hebrews 13:1.

In my final semester of university, I was in an advanced art class and I began a series of artwork where I took one surface and then used the material least likely to be matched with it and essentially wrote out my journal entries.  On walls I used pen. On canvases I used pencil. On post-it notes I used paint. On a white boards I used permanent marker. I wrote my entries it in a way that no one, including myself could really read the final outcome without intense effort. Intentionally, I also wrote it in ways that were meant to disappear when the series was done. In the critique, my lecture and fellow students asked why I choose the materials and subject I did. My explanation to them was that I had always been a journal writer. However, when I would fill a journal I would throw it away. The emotion came out in the writing but I didn’t want to remember what I had been through and so it went in the bin. In that moment, I saw the jaws drop throughout the entire group. My professor loved the work, but hated the idea behind it. He told me, that if I didn’t present one of the pieces to him the Friday before graduation (still four months away), he was failing me in the class, because my thoughts and my art were worth remembering. Not only did I have to show it to him before graduation, he challenged me to keep that piece for the rest of my life. I still have five of them.

Today, and for the past eight years, I am a graphic designer. Recently, I completed a website with a portfolio of my work. It’s the first I’ve had. Chatting with a friend, they asked how I chose what went on the site and I had to say honestly that some it work I really like and some is stuff I hate but it’s work that shows my capabilities. They asked why I hated my own work, and my simple response is that I can do better. He pointed out that we are always going to expect growth in design. As a matter of fact we expect it in art, writing, technology, and so many other things, but we don’t always expect it in other areas. He specifically mentioned that we don’t expect growth in our leadership capabilities or even our faith.

My mind started racing at this profound thought that people don’t always expect growth in a faith walk. Often people cling to familiar ways, be it a selection of worship songs, the seat on the aisle, the popular pastor, or the one theological point that is impossible to break free from. There is a tendency to pine after days of the high highs, and moving past the low lows can’t come fast enough. But in this messiness and change, we are shaped into a masterpiece that is loved by God.

My dad dug out of the bin, the artwork that I found worthless, because he found it priceless. God did that for our lives. The world is out to say we’re nothing—a mere passing spec—but our value is defined by One greater than us. In the Message translation, John 3:16-17 is so beautifully written “This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again.” We are pulled out of the bin and restored to honor.

My mom displays my painting in a place where every person entering her home sees it first, because she loves it and she wants to show me off. God puts us on display because we are pleasing and beautiful to him.  We are on display because we have a role to play. “What is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? You have made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honor. You made them rulers over the works of your hands; you put everything under their feet.” Psalm 8:4-6. Maybe you make the best treats of all the primary school moms; perhaps you are in charge of a team of employees; or it might be that you are a freelancer like me. No matter what it is that fills your days and takes your time God is pleased by you. He likes you and he wants to honor you.

My professor challenged me to keep my work, because he knew that power comes in remembering your journey.  In Joshua 4:1-9 there is a scene where God commands Joshua to choose twelve men to a place a stone each at the middle of where they crossed the Jordan. It says they are to be a memorial forever of their journey and where God brought them. Growth in faith is messy. It is happy and sad and every other emotion under heaven. But if there is no remembrance of the journey, future generations miss out on the lessons taught by God.

My progression of art has changed, as has my faith. My materials changed, my tools more precise, and the process is more costly. I can learn new methods, hear new thoughts, and create new ideas. Still the chaos remains. I now keep journals because though they hold the uneasiness, they also hold the beauty God has been so merciful with. Still I want to improve. Improvement is good and healthy. But instead of seeing myself through flawed eyes, I see the masterpiece God has carefully crafted me to be, and I know that the craftsman is not done.

I have expectancy that things are going to change. I have the expectancy that God is going to meet me in new ways, ask me to remember many more things, to teach others, to give up my critiques of worth, to challenge my thinking, and to move me further along. After all, it’s His masterpiece He’s creating, not mine.

  

What's The Plan?

By Hayley Blues-Drummond

I am a planner. I love a good list. I write meal plans, schedules, to-do lists and itineraries. It’s not necessarily that I follow each exactly, and I have no real problem if they never quite make it to completion. I will often find a beautifully comprehensive to-do list flaking from the pocket of a recently washed pair of jeans, with, at best one or two items faithfully checked off. It’s just that I like to know it’s there; at one point, there was a good plan. There is something secure in a plan. You know what to expect. You can prepare yourself when you know the plan. Clear your schedule, line up your tools, gather the resources and you’re set.

If however, you’re anything like me, you may have found by now that God just isn’t bound to our plans. Whether it’s a tasklist for a simple errand, or a much pondered two-year plan, He is always thinking bigger. I am so thankful this is the case. For each plan of mine, He always has something bigger, better, brighter and more beautiful than anything I could ever have come up with on my own. 

I am by training a scientist, by trade an administrator and by heart a worshipper, dreamer and lover of all things creative and unusual. I personally encountered God a few years ago in our old, dark and slightly musty Dunnes building – for which I have huge affection. This was the place I began an adventure of faith, love, hope, generosity and risk. It did take me quite some time however, before I realised that I was working a little bit on my terms. I trusted God with my relationships, but not with my finances. With my family, but not my career. Essentially, I liked my plans too much to hand these to God, and risk the unknown.

This was not going to work. If I wanted to continue to develop my relationship with my heavenly father I needed to trust Him more, with all things. I needed to trust that His plans would be far greater than my own, after all, Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

So I did. I gave Him everything I had and He was faithful. I began to journey a relationship with Him and enjoyed a level of intimacy I had never experienced before. He had so blessed me with a job I loved, wonderful family, incredible friends and most of all, I enjoyed being alone with Him. Despite the fact that, like many girls, I at some point hoped to be swept off my feet by a handsome man, so content was I that one day I uttered a bold claim; “Father, if it is just you and I from now until forever, I am so content with that. I will go wherever you tell me to go and do whatever you tell me to do.” I could barely believe it had escaped my lips, worse than that, I meant it. I felt so free.

For those of you who know me, you may be wondering where I am going with this. Fear not, I’m getting there. The point is, having never completely shaken my penchant for planning, I planned on being single, and I was happy with that. Naturally, this being the case, just a few weeks later, I began to date my wonderful, handsome, generous, now-husband. Once again, God’s plan for me was infinitely more exciting and beautiful than my own. Now, just over a year later, I am married to my best friend. God has been exceptionally good to us, unfailingly generous. My plans would never have allowed for me to meet my husband, become engaged and plan a wedding all within just about a year (and on no real finance) – they had been constrained by an earthly reality. When we surrender ourselves to God’s plans however, we allow for heavenly realities to invade each of our lives.

This doesn’t mean it’s easy. Like the most rewarding risks it requires faith, patience and courage. At times it can feel uncomfortable. This week I was reminded of just this fact. I had a routine check-up at the dentist. I had a plan, of course. In – check – out, minimal fuss. I sat in the waiting room and noted how awkward it felt, sitting in silence with three others, probably thinking the same thing. As one and then another left, I tried to hide from the remaining company in my phone. I couldn’t shake the sense of her anxiety though, and eventually I succumbed to the prompting. “Hmm…I so dislike waiting rooms. This one is lovely, but it still makes you feel nervous, don’t you think?” Typically eloquent. Despite the clumsy icebreaker, we soon lapsed into conversation. She was indeed nervous, understandably so as she was likely about to face another wisdom tooth removal. I asked her if she was currently in pain - I could see where this was going, and I was nervous. If it was awkward before, it had a whole lot more potential for awkward now. To my relief, she allowed me to pray, and by the end of our conversation, she said she felt peaceful, and her tooth pain decrease by more than half. She had a real encounter with the love of a very real God, and I had been shown once again, that His plan for a routine errand was so much bigger than mine could ever be.

To conclude, I will probably keep planning. It’s what I do. I will also be open to having my plans upgraded, changed and sometimes completely overturned by God who loves me, knows me better than I know myself and has a purpose for my life bigger than I could ever dream. I trust Him, I trust his plans. Whether it’s a plan for your day, or a plan for your life, allow Him to guide you – He will never steer you wrong.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 NIV

He always honours His promises, is abundantly generous, unfailingly good. The results will be breathtaking.

Not on my watch!

By Melanie Gibson

1 in 5 mums skip meals so that they can feed their children.

In Coleraine, Portstewart, Portrush, Garvagh and beyond folks are making difficult choices every day over something so simple as can we eat this tin of soup or keep it another day!

Thinking about this and it's reality in our towns just makes me feel sick, sad & angry, and I know it makes God feel this also.  But to be honest I didn't used to think like this or see it or feel it at all! I had a nice wee job, had not long come home from living in England and was kind of wondering why and had started coming along to CCV where I felt a wee bit awkward at times but loving it all the same.

Loved worship & in particular Hillsongs "Hosanna":

Heal my heart & make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen, show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours, everything I am for your Kingdoms cause as I walk from earth into eternity

One day I sang and prayed and actually found myself meaning it! So often I think we sing songs and are blinded to what we are actually declaring in worship and song but for me this day was different

I had been home probably about 8 or 9 months and had been wondering why I had come home. I had a great wee job, friends and church in Cumbria where I had met Jesus a couple of years prior to that, and although where I was when I came home I had a good job, good people & family around me.  Even with all this  and a desire to seek God more and more and be closer to Him and His word I found myself increasingly alone and with a real longing and loneliness inside.

I sought God in worship and in His word to conquer these feelings and asked Him for His purpose for my life to be revealed...

Break my heart for what breaks yours Father

Not long after this the Sunday Food Giveaway started which after 3 1/2years we partnered with our churches in the community and the Trussell Trust and the Causeway Foodbank launched in March this year.

What an adventure this has been for us as a community to bring hope and break the chains of poverty in our city.

When we pray "break my heart for what breaks yours," we have to be prepared to take a step an be moved with compassion to do something about the issue, injustice, cause or stirring of your heart for the lost that the Father is breaking your heart for, in whatever environment you find that in whether its church, work, the school gate, with friends and family etc.

As women we are uniquely placed, blessed anointed and ordained by our mighty Heavenly Father to change the world for His glory wherever we are.

When our hearts break for something that breaks Gods heart and we step out and say not on my watch in a simple act, we can push back the darkness and make a difference.  When we take a stand for God against sickness, injustice, poverty, etc. God equips and empowers us with all we need.

We (hopefully) have 80 ish years to make a difference in our worlds and change our community for the generations to come, and we have the power and God graced uniqueness as women to stand and say, sickness- not on my watch; a young generation with no hope - not on my watch; addiction crippling lives - not on my watch; loneliness and isolation whilst parenting alone -not on my watch; suicide - not on my watch etc. the list is endless and we are all stirred to something more than ourselves.

We can't all do everything but we can all do something!!

I'm sure as you can tell I'm a little bit passionate about all this, for me when I hear or see a single mum who just drinks tea all day and eats one small meal so that she can have enough food to make sure her daughter eats properly - i think, not on my watch; or a family who's business folds and the stress and anxiety of how and where they will provide the basic necessity of food for their family gets so much that they don't want to get up in the morning or face another day - not on my watch or the 17 year old who due to difficulties at home finds herself in a strange town with no money, no food & no one to turn too- not on my watch!

Father break our hearts, for what breaks yours, equip & empower us as mighty women of God, daughters and heirs to the King to stand up and boldly say - not on my watch!

What lies beneath...

By Donna Finney

As you read this you will quickly deduce that I am no literary scholar or poet laureate…but I hope you will see that I am simply a mum, sister, daughter, aunt, cousin, friend, work colleague.

You may wonder why I say this. It's not said in the hope of hearing your kind words or nods of agreement, but to ask you to stop and think, even for just a moment, about what lies beneath.

To think about what is really going on in your life away from the glare of the public, away from the office, away from the school gates, away from your coffee shop nattering!?

In the past I have often looked at people and sometimes admired them, maybe even criticised them...or worse, I judged them ...without knowing what was really going on in their lives.

There was a time in my life if the truth had got out in fact, my life was far from perfect! Whilst I had the appearance of someone who 'had it all', money in the bank, nice car, an executive job and a perfect home life...the reality was Donna was actually a lonely girl, insecure, suffering from depression and searching for a way out of an unhappy marriage. I had a one-sided relationship with God (on my terms only) so my life choices often revolved around me!!

Press the forward button on 10 years :  now a divorcee, mum to a beautiful daughter, successful career but still missing something. Still searching for that illusive two-way relationship with God...oh and a lovely husband!

I thought that was to be my story: the black sheep, the divorcee, single mum struggling to serve Jesus!

What I hadn't accounted for was meeting the love of my life in my late 30s, who would come into my workplace one day and almost literally sweep me off my feet! I hadn't accounted for the fact that he would love my daughter as his own and accept the 2 of us, baggage included.

So you might think the story ends there and we just live happily ever after...it would have been a cute story but I still hadn't accounted for the biggest change of all, God invading my life!

Having married the love of my life, my beautiful daughter at University, I was enjoying life. Then my hubby and I started to attend Causeway Coast Vineyard Church where I was re-introduced to Jesus! I had come into a safe physical environment but not only that, I realised I was in a safe holy place. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t have some blinding flash of light or epiphany, just a journey into discovering who I was as a daughter of a King. Talk about discovering what lay beneath!

I have been on this journey of ‘self discovery’ – not like a self-help book type of discovery – but rather one where I found myself being able to be me and knowing who I am in the eyes of God.! No mask, no pretence, just me and my heavenly Father.

Am I happy I hear you ask? I am so, so happy. Don’t get me wrong it’s not because bad things don’t enter my life, but rather I am happy because I have the joy of knowing Jesus personally so when something bad does enter my life, I can choose if it stays there. For me, having that intimacy with my Father in Heaven changes who I am and how I live my life. How generous a God we have who loves to hear from us and he creates a place where someone like me who has a past, can have a future.

So as I said at the beginning, I will win no awards for the literary content of my writing, but maybe it will help us to take a step back and consider what lies beneath a person’s façade, dare I say your own façade. Just be you, how God designed you…